ByChristian Reese, writer at
I like writing about all kinds of stuff. I also enjoy spending time with my friends and listening to loud heavy music.
Christian Reese

To rise against a corrupted and dysfunctional system is a dream many of us have. Still there is more to it, than to just say "I'm against this and that". Actions need to be taken, but those actions often times require more effort than we are ready to give. So, before you order a Spidey suit on Ebay and decide to become a crime fighter, let's first explore some aspects which come along with the mask. This article does not intent to discourage you form becoming a super person. It's meant to show you the not so glamours side of being a super hero.

1. Dual Personality

It's not easy to balance two lifestyles not to mention another alter ego. Cartoons will often save you this detail, but money is always an issue. You have to work! Mummy and daddy won't be here forever. So, when you're a superhero you have two jobs. Your regular one and the other one involving masks and capes. Unfortunately, nobody would pay you to jump on rooftops and risk your life for the average person on the street. Unless you become a police officer. Your "hero duty" as some might call it, will most likely drain all your financial resources. Apart form the financial aspect of super hero business, you also have to be a pretty good actor. It's not that hard for people to recognise you if you use your regular speech and body language. That said, don't overdo your voice the way Christian Bale did in the Dark Knight Trilogy. After all, people need to understand what you're saying. You should also try not to mix up our suits. Can you imagine going to work while you still have black eye make up? Guess somebody forgot to wash after a hard night ha?

What makes you think I'm Batman?
What makes you think I'm Batman?

2. Suit And Equipment Maintenance

Let's say, weapons are you tools of trade. The USA has weapon shops scattered all around its territory. It's a huge business industry, but what if you don't live there? What if you live in Balham, London for example? Even if you do find a weapons dealer, which will most probably be an illegal deal, you will go bankrupt soon after. Guns and ammo are expensive, you know. Unless you are the Punisher, who is an anti-hero, you are screwed. The Punisher kills his enemies and steals their guns and bank accounts. He has warehouses in every part of the city he operates in. Can you do that? Your suit needs to be in tip top condition as well. You don't want to run around in a dirty, smelly leotard with old sweat stains, do you? You have to wash it and sew it all by yourself, because otherwise you will get exposed. Too bad you don't have a symbiote alien costume which takes care of itself and changes colours and sizes.

3. With Great Power Comes Hard Work

You have to be up to date with the latest news so you wouldn't save the wrong person or attack the wrong villain. Besides keeping track of news and misguided Twitter posts, you also need to train your body and spirit every day. This can be a hard task if you have a steady job, a family and a rent to pay. Maybe if you worked as a fitness instructor, things would look brighter. Then again, maybe not.

4. Constant Danger

Superman is immune to sharp stabbing objects, bullets and baseball bats. The Thing has stone skin so he's well protected too. Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark have the best armour costumes money can buy. Wolverine has a healing factor making him almost immortal. What do you have to protect you from traumas, bullet wounds and broken bones? "Well, Spider-man doesn't have expensive gear and still fights crime" you say. Yes, but he has his spider sense to alert him of danger. It's always one or the other, super powers or super high tech. Unfortunately we regular humans have non of these. Even Spider-man has trouble recovering from serious wounds and his body is in top shape. Is your body as good and well trained as his? A broken leg, for example will surely put you out of business for a long time.

5. No Credibility And Appreciation

Tough Luck Phoenix Jones.
Tough Luck Phoenix Jones.
You see it on the telly all the time.

People rarely appreciate super heroes even in films. In real life, folks won't even call you a masked menace, like Jonna Jameson does when he sees Spider-man.

They will tell you to get a life or go to a psychiatrist.

Freak and loser would be the things you hear most of the time. Tough luck, when you've spent so much time in coming up with a cool super hero name. Hardly anyone will notice the bright symbol on your chest. Kids might find you interesting, but their parents would certainly not. The best chance you have to be accepted is to go to a Halloween party. Still, who knows? If you save an old woman from robbery she might thank you. But since she is not aware of super-hero culture she would most likely keep screaming for help. Frankly, although a bold idea, most societies around the world are not ready for super heroes.

6. Time Management

Time management is crucial, if you don't want to sacrifice one lifestyle for the other. But it's very hard to fight villains at night, have a 9 to 5 day job and a steady relationship. What if your girlfriend says she's pregnant? Can you really keep up with it? And not all people work form 9 to 5. What if you work as a man and van in Balham for example? Some Removals companies work 24/7. Can you really drop all your client's household belongings and go to save the city? Yes, you see you symbol in the sky, the commissioner at the local Balham police department needs your help, but you've got kids to feed. The city must wait. You need to load all the items into the truck and transport them to your client's new address, otherwise no pay. Besides, your client is depending on you. In their eyes you are the only one who can do the hard job of packing, loading and transporting. That's why they hired you and your moving company.

Final Words

Keep these points in mind, next time you think of becoming a super bad-ass. If you are ready to go all the way, you might become successful. If not, enjoy the rest of your life and become a rock star. Good luck either way.


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