ByErling Rangnes, writer at
I might be a literary genius, but I tend to get so distracted by important things that I forget to ... oh, cookies!
Erling Rangnes

Back in January, Fox announced they would produce not just a movie, but launch an entire movie franchise based around the Magic: the Gathering-multiverse (for the uninitiated, a multiverse is a cluster of universes, or planes, that run parallel to each other, and in the case of MtG, allows travel between each other for certain gifted individuals called Planeswalkers). For now, we know that writer/producer Simon Kinberg (also involved in Fox X-men and Fantastic Four projects) will be involved, and that they aim to build a fantasy movie franchise to rival the legacy of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter.

Ever since the game was introduced back in 1993, little snippets of text was added to some of the cards that was not part of any rule-text or had any practical value for the card. It was there to assist the name and artwork of the card in creating flavour, and motivate players to build little stories around these cards, or even entire decks. Some of these snippets appeared in the many books inspired by the game, some early ones are quotes from Shakespeare, or other dead poets, and a few are one-liners and quotes players like myself would love to hear spoken out loud by professional actors in a high budget movie. I've gone over my collection and selected a few favourites.

Falkenrath Aristocrat

"Your blood is quite pleasing. A pity there's not enough for both of us"

One of the central current planeswalkers in the MtG-franchise is a vampire called Sorin Markov. It is entirely possible that vampires will be included in an MtG movie, and this line, as well as the following one, screams vampires and arrogance like it's nobodies business.

Markov Bladesmaster

"Mortals practice swordplay for a few decades at best. How can they ever attain the exquisite mastery that eternity has to offer?"

Canyon Minotaur

"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."

"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"


"So shouldn't we—"


Of course, whoever gives this dialogue would find Brittle Bridge destroyed, and will have to pass through the canyon anyway, 'cause there's no way in heck I'm missing out on a battle with a giant, angry minotaur.

Coastline Chimera

Seeing a chimera overhead foretells good fortune, but only because seeing one any closer foretells dismemberment.

It's one of those "famous last words" things a guide would say just before the protagonist says something like "So now that it's coming towards us... that would be bad, then?"

Barrage of Expendables

Goblin generals don't distinguish between troops and ammunition.

No MtG movie, nor an MtG flavour article would be entirely complete without a nod to goblin armies and their... unusual grasp on war tactics. This is the perfect quote for when a little greenskin goes splat on a castle wall. And speaking of goblin armies...

Lightmine Field

If you want to kill a lot of goblins, just make sure your defenses look like fun.

And one last one for the necromancers

Skeletal Grimace

"And then I realized we all have skeletons on the inside. Why wait until the bodies are dead to control them?"

MtG has been around for a while, and good flavour-text quotes show up on several cards each set. Which ones would you like to see spoken out loud in a movie? Share your favourites in the comments below.


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