BySarah Gibson, writer at
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Sarah Gibson

There's only about 1.2 percent of genetic difference between human beings and apes. It's not much of a separation from our evolutionary relatives - though I'm sure glad of that fair amount of distance....

Here's 10 reasons I'm pretty damn sure that a Dawn of the Planet of the Apes kinda situation should NEVER, EVER happen!

1. They're thieving little b**tards

Remember the phrase "cheeky monkey"? Yeah...

2. And it's not just our fruit, car parts, and booze we'd have to worry about. Oh no, I'm talking about...


3. They'd just wreck everything...

...No respect!

4. They'd try their best to out-cool us...

I'm not about to be upstaged at Guitar Hero by a damned dirty ape!

5. To humiliate us...

Monkey butt! Monkey butt in the face of humanity!

6. And man's best friend would become... Monkey's best friend!

Just imagine what the simians could do with dogs on their side...

7. They're appalling drivers

Even then, I bet they'd *cute* themselves out of getting a ticket.

8. And, I mean, you can't even trust the cute ones!

What a d*ck!

9. They'd probably take us all captive and torture us in air vents with repetitive slapping...or something

I'm just speculating here. I'm sure they have a very complex plan.

10. So that they can be free to do exactly as they please.

Vile, dreadful and - Okay, pretty funny - creatures!

Guys, I'm calling it: living with Apes just ain't gonna work...


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