Charlie Sheen exploding like an incoherent volcano during an overdramatic Twitter rant? That doesn't sound like him at all!
The doyenne of tiger blood showed all of us sceptics that he is still winning by unleashing a torrent of uncharacteristic Twitter fury. This time the long suffering Brooke Mueller was safe, instead Sheen's 50 proof rage was blasted at pop starlet, Rihanna.
But what did she do to anger him? Alas, it wasn't anything as exciting as Bad Gal RiRi complaining about the meth fumes wafting from Sheen's general direction, or dutty wining all over his artisan cheese platter.
Rihanna committed the grave crime of not allowing Sheen and his fiancé Brett Rossi come over to meet her in a restaurant due to fears of a paparazzi frenzy. Or, in the words of Sheen;
so, I took my gal out to dinner last night with her best friends for her Bday. we heard Rihanna was present as well. I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancé Scotty to her, as she is a huge fan. (personally I couldn't pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint) well, the word we received back was that there were too many paps outside and it just wasn't possible at this time
From this relatively polite refusal, the self-proclaimed '
bitchin’ rock star from Mars' melted down into a nuclear rage that necessitated the use of 'Twitlonger' due to its biblical length. Enjoy it in its entirety below;
At this time? AT THIS TIME?? lemme guess, we're to reschedule another random 11 million to 1 encounter with her some other night...?
no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and "please kill me now" that I'd never get back.
My Gal, however, was NOT OK with it. Nice impression you left behind, Bday or not. Sorry we're not KOOL enough to warrant a blessing from the Princess. (or in this case the Village idiot)
you see THIS is the reason that I ALWAYS take the time. THIS is why I'm in this thing 31 awesome years. Good will and common courtesy, carefully established over time to exist radically in concert with a code of gratitude!
I guess "Talk That Talk" was just a big ol lie from a big ol liar.
oh and Riahnna, Halloween isn't for a while. but good on you for testing out your costume in public. it's close; a more muted pink might be the answer, as in: none.
See ya on the way down, (we always do) and actually, it was a pleasure NOT meeting you. clearly we have NOTHING in common when it comes to respect for those who've gone before you. I'm guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant.
Here's a tip from a real vet of this terrain; If ya don't wanna get bothered DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! and if this "Prison of Fame" is soooooooo unnerving and difficult, then QUIT, junior! c
I understand what Sheen is getting at by hammering home the importance of common courtesy, but Rihanna wasn't turning down an adoring fan. She was turning down a man who sounds like the sort of lunatic who walks down the street shouting through a megaphone, and she had the decency to make up a polite reason for it!
In typical Rihanna style, the singer was nonplussed. She responded by giving Sheen a soul melting side eye in the form of a more succinct insult;
Oh, and she also changed her Twitter profile pic of a nice photoshopped comp of her signing autographs for Sheen as a cherry on the cake.
Basically, Hollywood just needs to grow up a bit.
Who do you think was the victor in the Charlie Sheen vs Rihanna Twitter rant?
What would you do if Charlie Sheen wanted to approach you at dinner?
(Images: Entertainment Wise)