ByDon Allen, writer at
MA Student
Don Allen

You've already seen my Top 5 Villains of Doctor Who, so here is the flip side of the coin. The Bottom 5 Villains of [Doctor Who](series:200668). The ones that make you scratch your head and say "what"?

Note: When I mention specific episodes I use this shorthand: S#=Series No. i.e. S1=Series 1. E#=Episode No. i.e. E1=Episode 1. NW=New Who. For Classic Who episodes it is S#=Season No. SE#=Serial Number, D#=Doctor incarnation, i.e. D2=Second Doctor CW=Classic Who)

5) Slitheen

Sorry. I know some find them funny with the constant “farting”, and Raxacoricofallapatorius being the name of their planet is supposed to be funny. I don’t like them. Big, slimy looking things who wear humans for a suit (which is why they “fart”, because of the technology which they have to use to fit inside the much smaller humans) they are basically just alien thugs. They plan on selling the destroyed Earth (after they start WWIII) for fuel. What’s even sadder is that they appeared in multiple episodes. They had potential, but really they were wasted. They were kind-of made tolerable by the later appearance of Margaret Blaine in “Boom Town” (S1, E11 NW) but overall a loss for me.

4) Whisper Men

Not scary. Not creepy. They whisper. In rhyme. They have mouths with sharp teeth, and were created by the Great Intelligence. He is able to take over their bodies to give himself a physical form. Ok, now we are getting somewhere. Let’s make him 10 feet tall, with a huge head. Or get Professor Brian Cox to play him, at least living up to the “intelligence” part. But no, we get Dr. Simeon from “The Snowmen” (2012 Christmas Special, NW) Lame. Pure and simple. I really don’t know what else to say about this.

3) The Snowmen

Think Whisper Men without the ability to whisper in rhyme, made of snow. Another “Great Intelligence” idea. Deadly snowmen, who in final form can’t be melted, taking over the earth. Wow. Seriously. Moffat couldn’t come up with something better? Overall one of the worst 11th Doctor episodes, and I like the 11th Doctor.

2) Spoonheads

There is only one reason why this lame as hell villain isn’t number one, and if you haven’t figured it out by now, you will. Created by, you guessed it, the “Great Intelligence”, this villain sucks your soul for the Great Intelligence to feed upon, trapping them essentially in the internet. But unlike Whisper Men, who can kill, and the Snowmen, who can kill, you are still alive, just trapped. I have to be honest, the first (and only) time I watched this it was halfheartedly, as I couldn’t believe this was the villain. A robot. Shaped like a spoon. Called “spoonheads”. Even now I just feel so depressed.

1) The Great Intelligence

Is it any real surprise he’s the top spot on my list? With a villain as ominous sounding as “The Great Intelligence”, you’d think the writers of Doctor Who could come up with some worthy allies for him. But of the Bottom 5 in my list, 3 are this things creations! But even in Classic Who he created what appears to be ANOTHER lame servant, the Yetis. Which aren’t even real yetis. They are robot Yetis. I can’t put them on the list, because a lot of the episodes they appeared in are missing, but look up pictures of them sometime. The Doctor beat him in the past (S5, SE2, D2, CW) he beat him now, and it doesn’t appear to really have been that hard. The Great Intelligence is not so great. The ONLY good thing I can mention about him is that in 2012 Ian McKellan voiced him in the Christmas Special. Otherwise, it’s time to retire this guy.

Dishonorable Mentions: Anne Droid, Professor Richard Lazarus, Morbius


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