The Merc with a Mouth. Wade Wilson. One of Marvel's most successful characters, and a favorite to all fans.
I think you forgot 'incredibly good-looking'.
Oh no! Not you! Why do you have to show up? Never mind, just don't start anything. Let me handle this.
No problem, big man. I'm not even here.
Great! Where was I? Right, right! Fans have wanted to see a new Deadpool done right ever since the horror of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And now there's a chance we'll be seeing more of him on the big screen. So, let's take a look at Deadpool's history, his abilities, and-
Blah, blah, blah! Man you're f***king this up bad!
Oh, and you think you could do it better?!
B**ch, I'm Deadpool! Hell yeah I can do this better! Just give me the computer!
No, no, no! This is my article!
It's my article now, d***head!
How could you honestly do this better, anyways?!
I've got three words for you: explosions, Tacos, and...CHIMICHANGAS!!
Origin Story Time!
It all began the day I was born. Ninjas came and killed my parents. They saw a greatness in me, so they took me in and raised me as one of their own. Since then, I've been fighting for the good of all mankind, and tacos.
That's not what happened. Your mom died of cancer and your dad was a drunk!
Yeah, but people want a cool backstory.
No, people want the truth!
They can't HANDLE the truth!
Really? You know what, just let me do this. I can do it right!
Fine. But you're no fun!
Thank you! Wade Wilson lived most of his late teenage life as a mercenary, killing anyone who he thought deserved to die. To conceal his identity, Wade constantly used plastic surgery and new tech to change who he was.
When he was diagnosed with cancer, Wade found hope from the Weapon X program, a joint Canadian/U.S. project to create super humans. Wade was given Wolverine’s healing factor, which put his cancer under control. He then became an agent for Weapon X, until they rejected him for killing his teammate Slayback.
I don't regret it. That guy was a total d**k!
Stop talking! Wade was then sent to the Hospice, a facility where the failed superhumans could be treated. Instead, the patients were used as subjects for Doctor Killebrew’s experiments. The patients would place bets in a “deadpool” on how long the subjects survived. In his time on Hospice, Wade developed a relationship with the entity Death.
That whole thing is still going on. But 'cuz I can't die, I can never be with her. Still a better love story than Twilight.
Ok, I agree with you on that! When one of Wilson’s friends was lobotomized, Death encouraged him to end his suffering. But because of Killebrew’s rule that a patient who kills another will be executed, the doctor had Wade’s heart torn out and be left to die. But his thirst for revenge jumpstarted his healing factor and regenerated his heart. He escaped Hospice went back to his mercenary activities, and took a costume to create his new identity.
Now we finally get to the cool part!
When Deadpool was hired by the time-traveler Tolliver, he was sent to kill Cable, the future son of Cyclops and Jean Grey's clone, who also turned out to be Tolliver’s father. Cable and his team of mutants defeated Deadpool, who then became a member of the team, which would then be known as X-Force.
Ah, Cable! Man, we were the best of friends!
No, you weren't! He hates you!
That's the truth of a bromance!
Whatever! Along the way, Deadpool was found by Sabretooth, who got him to join the new Weapon X Program. Deadpool’s healing factor was upgraded thanks to the project, but since their ways were too dark for him, he confronted the Director. However, they reversed his healing factor, causing him to die. What was left of the healing factor resurrected him, but he developed partial memory loss, which would eventually be restored by Weasel.
Can I PLEASE talk about my powers!
Let me at least choose the title!
With Great Power Comes No Responsibilities
Deadpool's healing powers are derived from Wolverine himself. However his healing factor is much stronger because it evolved through his rage from the events at Hospice, and from when the new Weapon X upgraded his powers.
That being said, while Wolverine can't survive a beheading, Deadpool can reattach any part of his body by just putting them next to each other.
You know, if you listen closely whenever I heal myself, you can hear something like "chimichangas."
That's not true! You only hear that because you're insane. Which reminds me! Because of all the trauma of his life, Deadpool is dangerously mentally-impaired. So impaired, in fact, that he even knows that he's a fictional character.
Yep, that's why the writers are always nervous whenever they write about me. They're afraid I'm gonna kill 'em. Or just 'cuz I know how to piss 'em off.
That's also why I'm seriously regretting writing about you in the first place.
But enough about that, how about we move to the next subject. I've got the best picture for it.
That doesn't sound good.
The Reset Button
What the hell?!?! There is no way we're using this picture!
It's completely random!!
I KNOW!! It's awesome!
Oh, whatever! Anyways, I think we can all agree that the Deadpool we saw in X-Men Origins: Wolverine was a complete and utter disappointment. But, there's a chance for the saga to do Deadpool all over again. And to do him right. You see, when Wolverine went back in time in [X-Men: Days Of Future Past](movie:203942), he changed a lot more than we were lead to believe.
At the end of the movie, when it turns out that the person who saves Wolverine from drowning is Mystique and not Stryker, this means that he may never even meet Stryker in the future. And if he never meets him, Stryker doesn't assemble the team that included Deadpool, and Deadpool will never get Wolverine's healing powers nor become the abomination we saw before!
AHH!! All this time-travel stuff is too much for my brain!!
[Chuckles] No surprise there.
What's THAT supposed to mean?!?!
Oh, nothing. With a brand-new reality for the X-Men Universe, they have a chance to bring in a new and improved Deadpool. With a better origin story, and a better set of powers. And I know just how they can do it right!
OOOOO! Let me guess! LET ME GUESS!!
Fine, go ahead!
Is it X-Force?!
Yep! And since they're already planning to make an X-Force movie sometime in 2016, they'll have no problem with fitting him into it. What with the fact that he's a member of the team. After that they could finally do a Deadpool movie to introduce the origins of the character!
YAY!! I'll finally get my own movie!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT! It better have tacos!
Well, it seems that I've got the attention of Deadpool. And since he's got a majority of Marvel fans, I'm sure that there will be plenty more who are gonna wanna see a Deadpool like the one they fell in love with in the comics. Let's keep our fingers crossed that we'll be seeing Deadpool on the big screen soon.
X-Men Apocalypse comes out in May 27, 2016
What do you want to see from the new Deadpool?
Well, that was a lot of fun. This is badass!
Hell yeah!! One thing, though. Why do you call it Geek Archives?
Oh, that's because there are fans out there who are excited to see these characters and teams and whatnot on the big screen, and I thought I'd make articles to give them an idea of what it would be like. And give them some info about said characters.
I don't know! It's really lame, if you ask me.
Pfft! It's better than DEADPOOL!
What did you just say?!
Uh, uuh, nothing!! I didn't mean it.
Woah, woah, woah, man!! Put the gun down! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!! PUT THE GU-
Well, I hope you like this guy's article! It really did end with a BANG!!