ByEnchantinglyStabby, writer at Creators.co
Revenge Honey at thehorrorhoneys.com (@horrorhoneys), @linnieloowho on twitter, horror addict, comic book fanatic, writer, suspicious of peo
EnchantinglyStabby

(Reviews 1 and 2... out of 72. This is going to be a long hike, kids.)

As I make my way through these movies, I've decided to rate them on a Video Nasty scale, and not a traditional movie scale. Because comparing Blood Feast to The Godfather isn't really fair.

Absurd (1981)

AKA: Rosso Sangue, Horrible, The Monster Hunter
Dir: Joe D'Amato

I worry that I may have set the bar high by starting with Joe D'Amato's Absurd, a fun little giallo that is surprisingly well-scripted given the genre. Featuring essentially the Italian Michael Myers, but explained with SCIENCE and LOGIC (damn you, Italian people, with your brainy justification for an un-killable slasher!), Absurd has all the classic giallo elements but actually combines them in an entertaining and clever way. Despite some utterly unnecessary English on top of English dubbing, I enjoyed the crap out of Absurd: especially the final scene, which rivals Sleepaway Camp for most "WTF THAT'S AWESOME" closing shot.

Best Kill: The almost-death caused by the killer broiling the nurse's head in an over. Not terribly efficient, but effective! Though the act did have to be completed later with a good, old-fashioned neck-stab.

Video Nasty Rating: 4 Finger-Wagging Politicians out of 5

Anthropophagus (1980)

AKA: Anthropophagous the Beast, The Grim Reaper

Dir: Joe D'Amato

The video nasties giveth, and the video nasties taketh away. Anthropophagus, which is technically the precursor to Absurd, is about a bunch of tourists who hop in a VW Bus (the VW BUS! Harbinger of Doom since 1974!), then get on a sailboat, and get stuck on a semi-abandoned island where only a few random people and a "grotesque, insane, and violent killer" (according to IMDB) reside. Unfortunately, the killer pretty much just looks like the kind of guy I used to ride the C Train with in NYC every time there was a full moon. The film is plodding, repetitive, and loaded with distracting 8-bit video game music. Were it not for one particular scene in Anthropophagus, right near the end, I doubt anyone would know much about this movie either way.

Best Kill: The infamous eating of the fetus really has to win this round, though it absolutely looked like the skinned rabbit it actually was. The fact of the matter is, without this scene, Anthropophagus is about as exciting as a Merchant Ivory film, and maybe only slightly more gory.

Bonus points to the killer for eating his own intestines right before he died, though. That was commitment to cannibalism.

Video Nasty Rating: 1 Finger-Wagging Politician out of 5

Next Up: 1977's Axe!

Have you seen either of these films? What do you think?


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