The Beyond (1981)
AKA: L'Aldila, Seven Doors of Death
Dir: Lucio Fulci
You think by this point, hell, even by 1982, it would be common knowledge that it is a horrible idea to accept any sort of establishment as an inheritance. Hotel, farmhouse, abandoned mental asylum (you think I'm kidding? That's the plot of more than one movie): you NEVER take a building left to you by a dead person. It will ALWAYS be a portal to hell. Don't believe me?
Then just watch one of my personal favorite Lucio Fulci films, The Beyond. In The Beyond, a young, free-spirited woman discovers that she has inherited an old hotel in New Orleans that just, you know, happens to have been inhabited by a warlock and is one of the seven portals to the underworld. As such, zombies are roaming, plumbers are getting their faces eaten, and eyeballs are getting gouged out left, right, and center!
The Beyond isn't just one of the best films on the list of banned video nasties, but it's one of the best Italian horror films ever made. Sure, certain elements haven't aged perfectly: the lead heroine is annoyingly passive, and the whole affair may go on just a little too long, but let's be honest with ourselves: even Fulci's worst movie is still better than half the crap that comes out lately. So watch The Beyond, and appreciate a time when public enemy number one in Lucio Fulci's world was the damned eyeball.
Best Kill: It was a close tie between the blind girl getting her throat ripped out by her own seeing-eye dog, and the guy getting randomly eaten by a buttload of tarantulas. But I think I have to go with death by a thousand tiny spider bites!
Video Nasty Rating: 5 out of 5 Finger-Wagging Politicians
Up Next: Mario Bava's Bloodbath, aka A Bay of Blood! Yet another classic and the inspiration for many of the black comedies we know and love today...
Have you seen The Beyond? What do you think of Italian horror? Let me know in the comments!