Blood Feast (1963)
Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis
There isn't much to argue here: Herschell Gordon Lewis is kind of the king of the splatter films. Even when the scripts are cheesy and the acting is horrible, there is something weirdly endearing about Lewis's Crayola-colored nonsense. The effects aren't even that great, but they are delivered with such giddy joyfulness, you can kind of forgive it. So that brings us to today's video nasty review, 1963's Blood Feast! (Worth noting before we continue... this film is actually the oldest video nasty on our list. Yeah, the oldest. Lewis was a madman ahead of his time).
The story of Blood Feast is as old as the hills. A man named Ramses who owns an Egyptian catering service (and basically looks like Snidley Whiplash, minus the twirl-able mustache) is murdering young woman for their body parts in an attempt to resurrect the blood-thirsty goddess Ishtar (I guess Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty never saw this movie... RETRO ZING!) via a blood feast.
Okay... maybe this story isn't as old as the hills. It's actually pretty odd and surprisingly original (if only a tad bid racist). And I found myself enjoying the hell out of it while laughing at the more cornball elements. For example, apparently Blood Feast is set in a version of Miami where the girls are as dumb as a box of rocks and actually have cow tongues.
I also thoroughly enjoyed the character I now lovingly refer to as "Hysterical Tony." I can't even properly describe my darling Hysterical Tony to you. It's best you just watch and enjoy.
I very well may turn Hysterical Tony into my new ringtone.
Anyway, Blood Feast is giant, goopy, disgusting globs of fun. It's also stupid, and only nasty in that it's gross. But if you fancy yourself a fan of gore, then get out there and watch Blood Feast immediately!
Best Kill: Well, obviously something had to make Hysterical Tony hysterical! And it was the fact that he was knocked unconscious by one pop from the wrist of an old man and slept peacefully while this happened to his girlfriend...
Up Next: Blood Rites, a film described by almost everyone who has seen it as... boring. Sigh. Awesome.