ByRowan Odom, writer at Creators.co
Rowan Odom

You know, there were some great movies this year like Her, X-Men: Days Of Future Past, [Captain America: The Winter Soldier](movie:254973), 22 Jump Street, and [The Amazing Spider-Man 2](movie:508593) but for everything hollywood gets right they have to walk right up to me and say "I see you are enjoying lots of the movies that came out so far this year?" and I reply "Yeah I am, I cant wait for Godzilla this year, Godzilla was a big part of my childhood and I am such a huge fan" then hollywood handed me a turd and told me that it was [Godzilla](movie:45291).

Jokes aside, Gareth Edwards is really good at capturing the emotion and atmosphere of this film. However, Gareth wrote a script for a monster movie called "Rise Of The Mutos" and when he gave it to Legendary Pictures they said "Hmmm, it looks alright but since we have the rights to Godzilla right now we are going to throw in a guest appearance by him and call the movie Godzilla." I wouldn't be surprised if that was how it went to be honest. I really hated this movie, the trailers were like god came down and handed us the best trailers ever made.

I absolutely hated this movie as I have been following the movie since it was "Godzilla 3D: To The Max" and I sat there in my Godzilla t-shirt and was wishing the movie would end so that I could go back to my car and release all my rage by making a noise that sounds like "ARGHRGHHGHGH". I had dreams about the film and the dreams were pretty crappy representations of Godzilla and they were better than this movie. A hour after the movie ended and I was home, I thought "You know what? This is a tribute to the original 1954 movie" then I saw that a bunch of supposed godzilla "fans" were saying how they never knew that Godzilla breathed fire and that they were so surprised as I stepped over and said to them "You know what else will blow your mind? Water is wet!" and I saw their heads explode from a fact they never knew.

I also feel like a hipster, as when the movie was released I made a shirt that said "I Liked Godzilla Before 2014" because I didn't want want to seem like the mainstream and be like everyone else saying "I liked Godzilla, it was so good, if only there were other Godzilla movies" because everyone who only has seen this movie will think that this and the original were the only ones.

Something else that maked me look lame besides writing a review that is honest and doesn't just copy the critics about a film that is 2 months old was that I bragged to all my friends how cool Godzilla was gonna be and then I just sat there saying "Wait...its gonna get cool soon" then about two hours into the movie I said "The movie is getting cool now!" then the movie ended about 3 milliseconds later.

Now you know that I hate this movie but will I go see the sequel opening day? Yes.

THIS WAS ACTUALLY NOT A PARODY REVIEW THESE WERE MY ACTUAL FEELINGS ON THE FILM

What movie should I do an honest review of next?

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