ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Remember those days, way back when? Those happy times, where the adventures of teenaged turtles or yellow Springfield-ers could fill your day with even more joy than a pocket full of candy.

Well, enough of that. All of your beloved childhood memories are under threat from that greatest of all dangers: Celebrities.

And we're not talking about your run of the mill, everyday celebrities here. We're talking the guys and gals who sat down in a booth, picked up a mic and willfully and maliciously ruined your childhood - retrospectively.

We're talking about the celebrities who, back in the day, voiced characters that you would never have expected - and who you'll never look at the same way again...

First up:

1. Vin Diesel

The Fast, Furious and generally musclebound action star Vin Diesel isn't the most family-friendly actor - The Pacifier aside. Back in the day, though?

Yup. He was the star of beloved animated robot adventure The Iron Giant.

But, y'know, that was still pretty action packed. That makes a kind of sense, right?

Sure - but how about:

2. James Avery

As Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, James Avery taught a generation valuable lessons about family, sharing, and never letting DJ Jazzy Jeff into your house.

He also, however, had a dark side:

One that saw him menace all kinds of Half-shelled heroes in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - as the ultimate bad-guy of many of our childhoods - Shredder.

Avery had a pretty epic voice, though - so that's not too surprising. Let's take a look at some Disney, though, and let things get seriously dark.

3. Mel Gibson

Yup, that Mel Gibson. Crazed, ranting, nightmarish hate-fueled Mel Gibson.

Also known as:

John Smith, from beloved childhood movie Pocahontas.

I can just picture him now, screaming about the Native American conspiracy...

Let's take it down a notch, though:

4. Maggie Simpson

There can't be much more innocent than The Simpsons' youngest family member, right? I mean, aside from all the vengeance she occasionally seeks against her nemesis Gerald.

Except, of course, for the fact that she was voiced by Elizabeth Taylor, notorious sex-pot and general cinema icon - way back in 1992 in 'Lisa's First Word'.

Now picture Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, during their second honeymoon.

Yup, that's that ruined, then.

Sticking with The Simpsons:

5. Johnny Cash

Yup, that's right, The Man in Black himself was in The Simpsons. He must have played some sort of bad-ass desperado, though, right?


Remember that Space Coyote Homer talks to after eating all that chili in 'El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer'? Yeah, that's Johnny Cash.

Which is a whole lot of nightmare, just waiting to happen. Especially if you just ate chili.

But, hey, at least Johnny got a chance to be on arguably the greatest show of all time. Some actors can ruin our childhoods just by being everywhere.


6. Haley Joel Osment

Come the end of the 90's, it sometimes felt like you couldn't turn a street corner without running into Haley Joel Osment in a movie. He was a great actor, true - but absolutely everywhere. Going further back, though, you could at least get a break from his quirky adorability, though. Right?

Wrong. He voiced Chip in Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, the direct-to-video sequel. Along with characters in every other Disney sequel, ever, including Mowgli in The Jungle Book 2.

Just because he could...

Sticking with beloved child actors:

7. Michael Cera

Ah, Michael Cera. Arrested Development's George Michael has come a long way - right up to doing awful, awful things in This is the End. Back in the day, though?

Yup, he was Brother Bear in The Berenstain Bears.

Which, once you've seen This is the End, is a whole other level of horrifying.

Sticking with classic animation:

8. Tim Curry

Tim Curry, better known to most as Dr. Frank N. Furter, from Transexual, Transylvania in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, has done a lot of voice acting in his time, most of it villanous. He even voiced Emperor Palpatine in Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

Some of it, though:

Some of it raises some serious questions about what classic childhood animated father figures were wearing just out of shot. Which would at least add an other dimension to the show being called The Wild Thornberrys.

Nigel wasn't the only Thornberry to hide a dark secret, though:

9. Flea

One of them was voiced by hard-rocking Red Hot Chili Pepper Flea. And I'll give you a clue, it wasn't Eliza (that'd be Lacey Chabert...).

Instead, it was a certain feral adopted brother.

That's right, Flea voiced Donnie Thornberry. Which completely puts the fact that he was in the Back to the Future movies into awesome perspective...

Sticking with the Nickelodeon-verse:

10. Busta Rhymes

Yep, that Busta Rhymes. The buster of more rhymes than your average rhyme-buster. Never let it be forgotten that he, way back in 1998, he was in The Rugrats Movie.

As Reptar. Or, more accurately, as the Reptar Wagon.

Either way, try watching classic Rugrats without hearing Reptar rapping in the back of your mind.

And, just to make that worse - remember Spike?

Yeah, he was played by Bruce Willis, back in Rugrats Go Wild.



What do you guys think? Childhood ruined, or made immeasurably better?

via Buzzfeed


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