BySarah Gibson, writer at
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Sarah Gibson

Just in time for Michael Bay and Jonathan Liebesman's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to hit theaters in August, the pizza-loving, sewer-dwelling heroes in a half-shell are teaming up with Pizza Hut to bring back cheese bites pizza and other deep-dish promotions.

Take a look at this:

Okay, so it's probably the most organic cross-promotional marketing there is. I mean, I wouldn't have even known what pizza was before the ripe age of eighteen if it hadn't been for the Turtles hammering it into my brain as a food I need to eat to be cool.

And I get that young kids and distracted parents are going to shell out for this kinda stuff. And I totally get that there are adults out there who can't wait to throw dollar at collectibles from their own childhoods.

But, these? These other baffling pieces of edible movie tie-in merch were just hilarious. Take a look at these and see if you'd part with your cash for the novelty value...

1. The Quicksilver Burger

If anyone's still wondering why Marvel's Quicksilver is better than Fox's Quicksilver, they probably need look no further than this commercial right here. Why does it make that loud, creepy ass crushing sound? Doesn't that scare anyone else? Might be glass in that burger...

What do you think - shameless ad campaign that makes a mockery of the characters and undermines just how serious the Days Of Future Past plot is supposed to be, or a good bit of lip-smacking, corny fun?

At least it's not quite as bad as this next monstrosity, I guess...


2. The "Dark Vador" Burger

This black burger, which looks like a very appetizing lump of carcinogenic coal, was created by French fast food chain Quick to tie-in with the re-release of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3D.

Aside from the burger's relevance - given that Darth Vader only appears in The Phantom Menace as 10-year-old Anakin Skywalker - may the force be with you if you dare to try eating the snack which has truly...gone to the dark side! Oh, the horror!

And from "Dark Vador" - whoever that is - to Darth Vader...


3. The Darth Vader Toaster

"Luke, I am your toaster."

Have you ever found yourself in desperate need of a piece of toast with Darth Vader's helmet burnt right where you spread your peanut butter? Then Star Wars merchandiser Lucasfilm and Pangea Brands have got your back - THANK GOD.

But wait... No... NO ONE loves burnt toast!! And even worse, it doesn't appear to cook the rest of the slice that well either. What were they thinking?

Breakfast just got a little more evil...


4. The Jar Jar Binks Candy Tongue

Yep, you are seeing this. And yep, it actually happened. A Jar Jar Binks head with a lollipop tongue. A candy tongue. Are images of thousands of kids making out with the annoying Gungan from Episode I racing horrifically through your head?

Over 35 years of licensing Star Wars swag, and Lucasfilm has approved some odd items. But, man, this one's a real head-scratcher. I mean, who wants to suck on Jar Jar's tongue? Answer: no one. Ever.

Meesa think this is an abomination.


5. The Daniel Craig 007 Ice Pop

A license to...chill?

Daniel Craig naked from the waist up on a stick is a weird idea on paper and it's certainly a weird idea in practice.

But that didn't stop Del Monte designing an ice pop in the shape of the James Bond star - based on the Casino Royale scene where he emerges shirtless from the water - after 1,000 British women cast votes deeming Craig the celebrity that they would "most like to lick." Creepy.


Would you part with your cash for any of these hilarious movie food tie-ins?


... And which of these pieces of merch is the weirdest?

(Source: ComicBook)


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