(The verdict: You will not want to kill yourself in the first showing, maybe not even the first 10. It will take the full participation of the phenomena to truly kill it for you and make "Let it Go" a dreaded phrase.)
When I watch a children's movie, which is far too frequently now that my daughter is a hell-raising three-year-old, I am reduced to judging that movie based on the degree of suicidal tendencies it inspires in me. Can I find enjoyment in it the first showing then tune it out the subsequent 100? Win! Does the very sound of the character's voice make me want to pour Drain-O in my wine glass? Fail!
I do not know that any parent has been able to escape the latest Disney phenomena: Frozen. I know no one in any sphere of cultural influence has been able to dodge the sounds of "Let it Go" or one of its parodies. I honestly do not remember a Disney movie being this pervasively and fanatically popular since The Lion King.
I have been living Frozen since I foolishly took my daughter to see it in the theater. I perpetually have a miniature Elsa running around my house, belting out "Let it Go" and chucking snowflake confetti around. She had a Frozen birthday--like every other little girl. I can sing the entire soundtrack and recite the entire movie.
Yet, aside from how debilitatingly annoying the fad and the obsession are, how is the movie itself?
To be honest, the first time I saw it, I liked it. I have never been one into children's movies, and I have been known to roll my eyes at all things Disney. However, it was more cute than irritating (read: Sven the reindeer), and I found myself actually following the plot instead of counting the painful seconds to the closing credits (rolling to "Let it Go" once more, of course).
I have been becoming more tolerant of Disney in recent years due to (necessity to not hang myself after all I have to ingest with my daughter and) the fact that the princesses are finally becoming less helpless twits. Sure, it would be nice to see some non-white, non-rich royalty stories out there, but them not being singing morons is a start. Old school princesses like Snow White make me want to scratch my eyes out. At least Anna does not marry the man she just met and does not just get rescued by the guy at the end. Elsa does not end up with anyone. She is single, running a country, and does not die (though if she was a parent, Disney would kill her off immediately!). I can live with my daughter pretending to be these characters without twitching.
I have also read a sampling of the swirling controversy surrounding Frozen. How it is pushing the gay agenda and marriage equality, how it includes bestiality and Disney's first gay character (Oaken, the trading post owner) and his non-conventional family. I am not bothered by the inclusion of a collateral (or main) gay character. However, I think it is a big stretch and an inappropriate fuss for a two minute scene in which all of the above assumptions have to be forcibly inferred. And one song lyric does not bestiality make.
I have read some well-supported arguments for Elsa's powers being a metaphor for homosexual attraction. I do not agree (nor do I care), but I think the same argument could be made for any quality that could ostracize an individual from society, anything they would try to repress and hide from others because they feared judgment.
It is just a movie; calm down, people. If a princess with icy powers makes your child gay, I think the real problem is with causation. The movie is wildly popular (alarmingly popular, really), so people (many) need to have a public, online fit about it.
In the end, I can live with Frozen, even these some 100 times later, though some days I am one "Momma, sing Anna!" away from a razor. The princesses are less than idiots. All these months later, it is still cute when my daughter dresses up as Elsa. And whenever something as innocuous as an animated family movie can rile up the conservatives, I call it a win.