ByChristian Reese, writer at
I like writing about all kinds of stuff. I also enjoy spending time with my friends and listening to loud heavy music.
Christian Reese

While Petter Parker tries his best to take the most epic Spidey selfies as a photographer, there is a job he'd be a lot better at...

1. Spider-Man- Window Cleaner

Who better to clean your 50 storey office building's windows than your friendly neighbourhood web slinger? That even sounds like a carefully planned slogan, doesn't it? Let's face it. Spider-man loves crawling walls, he doesn't need safety nets and ropes, plus he has his spider sense in case a brick form the top floor loosens and starts falling to his head. He is the perfect candidate for this low paid and dangerous job. You know all your windows will be squeaky clean, because Spidey always gives his best efforts to do everything perfectly. Well, unless he spots a crime being committed. If that happens you can forget all about your windows being done in time.

That clean enough for you, JJ?
That clean enough for you, JJ?

"Spider-man, Spider-man, cleans a window better than you can." Well, that didn't sound too good, but if there were an advertisement broadcast, it will probably incorporate something similar.

2. Professor X- Psychiatrist

If the leader of the X-men was working as a psychiatrist, we'd all be either really happy or paranoid all the time. Either way, Charlie is perfectly qualified to do this. Why spend countless hours in a room, explaining what you did in the second grade to a guy who takes notes? This does not mean you should ditch your psychiatrist the next time you see them. It just implies you should spend more time with friends and family. Dear old Chuck would quickly help you sort out all your troubles, by just looking inside your head. He'd also know most, if not all, your dirty secrets. But hey, this is the almighty professor X we're talking about here. He'll never tell anyone else. And that's why you should trust him when going to one of his sessions. In fact you wouldn't have to do anything. He'd just contact you with his mind even if you lived in Fulham, London for example.

So, tell me about your mother!
So, tell me about your mother!

3.The Flash- Delivery Boy

Nowadays sending mail is as easy as pie, thanks to modern technology. All you have to do is click one button and walla. Unfortunately, sending material items is still somewhat slow and demands we wait for the certain object of our desire. Wouldn't it be great if we could receive our cargo just a couple of minutes after we have ordered it? Well, if the Flash would quit the Justice League and get a real job, we would have the luxury of fast item transportation. We'd also burn the poor guy out. He's fast, but it would take more people like him to be able to cover all of the continents and not be late. If Wally was to do this job buy himself he would be overwhelmed and would probably quit after several runs. We don't want that to happen, do we?

4. Superman - President

Superman a president! No this is no joke and here is why: the man of steel is well educated in morale, disciplined, responsible, kind-hearted, and always tries to do the right thing. A gentle giant, like some people say. Plus, he's super strong and doesn't crave for petty material objects unlike some other famous presidents do. What that means is, Kal El is incorruptible by human standards. Money and power can't get the best of him, because he is not human and has gifts beyond human comprehension. You can always trust him to look after your best interests, unless he works for somebody else or thinks what he's about to do will benefit all of humanity. All in all it's no wonder why so many people hate on the blue boyscout. Still, wouldn't it be nice to have a president who actually cares a little bit about your country and doesn't invade other pieces of land?

5. Hulk- Demolisher

"Hulk smash!" is a common phrase many of us have heard over and over through the years and it's no wonder. The green giant has always been known for his fast changing temper and limitless physical strength. So, what good is a person like this, if he had to have a regular day job? He'd be a demolition man, of course. You always have to hire expensive machinery or hope battling transformers would destroy old inhabited buildings, but if you have a Hulk, you'd spend less resources and still have the same result. Plus, Hulk loves jumping, right? He'd have no problems getting form town to town by jumping. If the green giant wasn't so easily distracted and a little more less aggressive, he'd also make a perfect mover. Fortunately there is another super person who is perfectly suited for the job.

6. Thing- Mover

It's moving time!
It's moving time!

Ever since that accent in the space shuttle, Ben Grim has a super strong, a little ugly and nearly indestructible, orange rock body. Besides clobbering bad guys, he's also good at... heavy lifting. These are pretty much the only activities he's good at doing. He might have a gentle soul, but his big bulky hands would never help him become a professional sculpture artist or painter. What they can help him do, on the other hand, is move heavy and bulky items without breaking a sweat. Imagine this: you have a piano on the second floor of your house and you can't move it on your own. You invite some friends over, but they can't help you either. Besides the aspect of heavy lifting you also have to move the piano through the door and it might just not fit if the angle is not right. And what about the stairs? You have stairs to your second floor don't you? Here is where The Thing comes in to play. He can grab your piano and take in out of that room just as easily as if he was carrying a cup of apples. Well, he probably wouldn't be very good at packing, but cut the guy some slack, would you? There is only one bad side to all this. You won't be able to hire the thing if you lived outside his country. Yes, all the folks living in Fulham, for example, would have to count on a regular removals company.

The inspiration for this article came from Cracked's post called: If Famous Characters Sold Out


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