ByDaniel Gomes, writer at
Daniel Gomes

Ever got stuck in a place so boring that you started imagining the place to be in trouble and then out of nowhere, you save the day and become the hero? I am sure most of us do. Having superpowers would be uber great. To be a hero people look up to and kicking ass is what most of us wish to be and wish to do as children. Yet there are some powers you do not want to inherit or even touch with a 10 foot steel pole.

So, here's is our list of the top 5 super-powers you do not want to be:

5) The Old Vigilante, Madam Fatal

Disguises are cool and having a sidekick seems great, I mean, look at Batman and Robin for example. But what if your disguise is that of an old woman and your sidekick is just a parrot who could recite Shakespeare? That is exactly who Madame Fatality is. No, it's not some sexy super-heroine like Cat Woman or Wonder Woman, who both look charming and can kick some major ass at the same time, but just a young man who dresses up as an old woman; nothing more.

4) Mr. Loudmouth, The Thunderer

When people accuse you of being a loud mouth, you better shut the hell up before people get against you. But what if that was your superpower? As a radio-operator in the early 1940s being fed up from all the crooks and the Nazis, the Thunderer appeared with a colourful costume attached to a microphone which amplified his voice to the levels that it broke buildings. Then again, if you're causing more mayhem in the city than your opposition, it is better to just keep quiet.

3) Tag! You're It! Tag (with his original power)

This superhero is probably derived from the ever popular playground game. If you're the superhero 'Tag', you have the ability to 'tag' someone which would originally emit psionic signals compelling others to run away from the tagged person. Not helpful for the authorities, although it carries benefits for the perpetrator surely.

2) Mr. Acid Mouth, Zeitgeist

You're on a date with a smoking lady. The date goes great and at the end, you two lean in for a smooch. What's the worst cockblock that could happen? You spew acid from your mouth, or something like that? Well, that's the story of Zeitgeist, an acid-spewing superhero who is out there, killing villains by spewing acid-like breath. Like regular bad breath wasn't terrible enough. By the way, am I the only person concerned about Zeitgeist's date? Isn't her face disfigured from the acid now? Poor gal.

1) Mr. Could've-Done-This-Better, Hindsight Lad

Now, what if you had the ability to tell exactly what goes wrong and how you could improve your chances of defeating your villain with more effectiveness? Sounds great! You'd be the top pick for every single superhero team ups! But here's the catch; you only do it after the fight is that's the most annoying superhero power you could possess. It just shows you all of your mistakes after the fact. You would just sound like the couch potato who shouts at their TV screens telling how a sports team should have played the game, without having any knowledge on the game whatsoever.

So, when you do get the chance to be a superhero, make sure you do not choose someone who would create more chaos than there is, or some nuisance who has no use whatsoever. In that case, it’s better to just to stay ordinary and just pray for a real superhero to save you.

What do you guys think of the list and the "superheroes" abilities? Know any more? Make sure to comment and let us know below!


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