ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

There are some fictional characters who just seem to make sense when adapted into something close to 'Real Life'. Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man, Tyrion Lannister - they all just seem to work on screen.

What about characters who, when they first appeared, were little more than a few pixels, though? How well can they ever really adapt to life in the real world?

The Japan-based visual effects artist Dean Wright decided to find out - and took the world's most beloved plumber as his first test subject. Be warned, it's adorable:

The thing is - and don't get me wrong, Mario riding the Tokyo Metro is about as cute as it gets - the internet has already explored just what would happen if Mario really did emerge into the real world, and wouldn't you know it, things get pretty darned horrifying.

I mean:

Mario Kart Would Cause Traffic Chaos

As ably demonstrated by French prankster Remi Gaillard, a man with about as much respect for conventional authority as Bowser has for the intricacies of the U-bend.

And while, yes, that video is awesome, imagine if every time you hit your daily commute Wario came barreling round the corner with a speed boost and smacked your SUV with a giant spinning shell?

It'd be chaos - and not the fun kind they have in movies.

Even worse:

Mario and Luigi Would Constantly Be Distracting The Police

As demonstrated by Warialasky, Mario and Luigi's fast-paced antics would most likely look even more awesome in real life than they do on screen:

But that wouldn't stop them being constantly arrested for wasting police officer's time. No amount of seriously impressive Parkour is going to make up for that fire ball at the end, and the extensive property damage it's going to cause.

Speaking of which:

Mario is Definitely Going to Blow Up Your House

As John Huffnagle demonstrates, that property damage isn't just going to be deserted industrial areas, or the Mushroom Kingdom. If Mario comes to life - it's could seriously effect your home insurance premiums:

Because in a the world we live in, what Mario is up to there is called breaking and entering, and towards the end, quite possibly covered under the Patriot Act.

All of which is completely ignoring the human side to Mario arriving in the real world:

Mario Wouldn't Survive Long in the Real World

As POYKPAC Comedy's surprisingly harrowing Mario: Game Over demonstrates, there are real world consequences to the things that Mario and the gang have seen - stretching from post-traumatic stress disorder...

To what looks an awful lot like death by Cop.

Really, not matter which way you look at it:

Mario (And Friends) Would All Be Miserable

As Snow White and the Huntsman screenwriter Evan Daughtery has ably demonstrated in his series The Four Players. At best, Mario is going to be a damaged, obsessive figure:

And you don't even want to know about Luigi:

Y'know what? The world of the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie is looking better and better all the time - at least there happy endings could still exist:

Plus, in that reality, Bob Hoskins would still be with us...

Still want more stuff about Video Games? Look no further...


What do you guys think? Would you still want to see Mario turn up in the real world?



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