As we enter into the final four episodes of [True Blood](series:200767), everyone's favorite Viking and his sassy sidekick learn that Sarah Fucking Newlin is now their salvation. I don't blame Eric for losing his temper and popping that little bitch like a water balloon. Girl, we only have four episodes left; we don't have time for these games.
Let's be honest. This episode sucked. This was the longest 60 minutes of my entire week and I may still be a wee bit cranky about it. Jessica and Sookie are, literally, watching Bill sleep and that is a lot like what watching this episode felt like. Jessica and Sookie are whiney women who just can't seem to take care of business on their own. While I understand Sookie's motivation in contacting Niall for a miracle, it just didn't pan out the way that she thought it would. As far as I can tell, they brought Niall back for the sheer pleasure of bringing Rutger Hauer back. Oh, and to torture us with another Bill flashback. These Bill flashbacks have almost nothing to do with anything. Why, precisely, is our time being wasted on Bill meeting his wife when we should be finding Noomi?
I suppose it's for the same reason that it's necessary to create a new love interest for Arlene. Arlene is lovely and she deserves happiness, but she is not the kind of woman who requires a man to attain that happiness and, again, we are wasting time on a storyline that is distracting from the main problem. Vampire Bill is dying and Sookie's fairy grandfather won't help, so, we need to find the alternative! Or not. At this point, everyone can just go ahead and die so I don't have to continue doing this to myself every Sunday night.
Noomi returning to the Light of Day Insitute and having hallucinations was lame. The Yakuza finding her there via satellite? Even sillier. Hoyt coming back with a girlfriend that Jason wants to have sex with; nope never seen this before. Adeline and her brother fornicating for the first time while in Violet's sex chamber was silly and unnecessary. The portrait on the wall in said sex chamber looked and felt a lot like a Scooby-Doo reference. In fact, that dumb portrait might be my favorite part of this episode because at least it was mildly amusing. Or was Sookie doing her patented cemetery run, so she could do it with Bill one last time, more amusing? Let's call it even.
With so many plot lines to be wrapped up, I simply cannot understand why more relationships and drama are being created. With only three episodes left after this, I do hope that there will be more focus so we can have some sort of satisfying conclusion to this series, however, with each week that hope is becoming more and more feeble.