ByJess O'Kane, writer at
Big in Japan
Jess O'Kane

The long-awaited movie adaptation of sizzling success Fifty Shades of Grey finally hits cinemas on Valentine's Day next year.

Starring Jamie Dornan as baby-faced sociopath Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson as shy student Anastasia Steele, we're guaranteed more than a few pulse-raising moments.

But as is always the case when adapting red-hot material, a few of the more extreme scenes might get left on the cutting room floor.

The book, which has sold over 100 million copies worldwide, made headlines for its controversial depiction of BDSM and abusive relationships, which led to some libraries removing it from their shelves.

Here's our pick of the scenes most likely to be kept from NC-17 view...which also happen to be some of the most cringeworthy:

1) Balls. All the balls.

He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread … Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils … Oh my … It’s a curious feeling. Once they’re inside me, I can’t really feel them—but then again I know they’re there … Oh my … I may have to keep these. They make me needy, needy for sex.

You go, Ana! Listen to your cavernous vagina.

2) Ana's "Inner Goddess" (whatever the hell that is)

I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.

50 Shades of Grey, coming to you from the 1950s. Popsicle? Seriously? Is that before you show him your "special place" whilst listening to Little Jimmy Dickens?

3) The famous tampon moment

His breathing is ragged, matching mine. 'When did you start your period, Anastasia?' . . . He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! – and gently takes my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all . . . Jeez. And then he's inside me. . . ah!

Yeah, okay. Um. I'm just going to leave this one hanging (pun intended). Also: remind anyone of this?

4) Whore's drawers

Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down. Up and down like a whores’ drawers, my subconscious remarks bitterly. In my head, I tell her where to go. Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness—from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid.

Soothing balm for a spanked ass, the new fragrance by Givenchy.

5) Holy Cow!

Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! . . . He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no . . . Will it? How?

Watch out for holy cow popsicle merengue tampon sex next Valentine's Day.

Still not had your 50 Shades fix? Watch the trailer below.


Which scene would you like to see most in the movie?


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