ByRobert Richards, writer at
Hybrid hillbilly nerd, currently still terrible at Overwatch but I keep trying.
Robert Richards

Since the dawn of man there have been things to be scared of. Both real and imaginary monsters, ghouls, and ghosts, most of them to this day are still going strong or evolved over time but still garner a real sense of dread or even terror at the prospect of meeting one face to face. Werewolves, the undead, vengeful spirits... All have some basis for being frightening and thus make great antagonists in horror movies.

Sometimes though film strays far, far from the fear and enters the realm of "who the hell were you trying to scare?" I mean from a personal viewpoint, I am 6'2" 220lbs and have been (ok ok so my weight went up and down. I am human after all) since before highschool so some things just don't scare me like they are intended or at all. Here are my top 5 villains with a body count that I don't find remotely frightening. Starting with number...

5. Leprechaun
(as seen in the Leprechaun franchise)

  Really? YOU are gonna kill me?
Really? YOU are gonna kill me?

This is just one of those where I don't want to be mean but seriously a leprechaun? This little guy is actually the one I feel is sadly the deadliest... he can't really from die or even be hurt by anything other than a four leaf clover which is a trait that can make anything dangerous even without his plethora of mystical powers. But being 3 feet tall and having a compulsion to shine dirty shoes with an addiction to speaking in rhyme just take all the scary out for me. Plus *spoiler* he was bested by Jennifer Aniston.

4. Ghostface
(as seen in the Scream franchise)

  You got any paper towels this is dripping all over.
You got any paper towels this is dripping all over.

This one might take some people off guard... but *spoilers* the guys under the mask are f**king teenagers... Even when I was in single digit ages I wasn't scared of teens. No one in my highschool up in North North California where I grew up were remotely scary at all... That could be because I am from a very small town though. But seriously it is one of the rare occaisions where the killer is just a "regular" albeit violent, sociopathic person.

3. Jack Frost
(as seen in Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2)

  "Happy Birthday!" -F. Snowman
"Happy Birthday!" -F. Snowman

This is basically Frosty killing people... Scary? No. Sad and kind of hilarious? Absolutely. If you can be injured by the heat coming off my laptop then you are not a formidible opponent. Ok I know you have to use antifreeze or something like that to kill him but whatever the concept is still the same, if the sun can kill you I am not scared.

2. Chucky

(as seen in the Childs Play franchise)

  Uhh he was like that when I found him... Honest!
Uhh he was like that when I found him... Honest!

So a serial killer dies and through some voodoo he knows somehow possesses a doll for kids who don't have friends. The kid in the movie should be able to pull the mouthy little ginger's head off. Speaking of ginger...

...Here is numero uno.

1. The Gingerdead Man

(as seen in the Gingerdead Man franchise)

  How I see the whole wheat option in the goodie box.
How I see the whole wheat option in the goodie box.

Gary busy is baked to life through an increasingly improbable set of circumstances and proceeds to kill people in even more ridiculous ways. Ridiculous because he is a gingerbread cookie. If I can disintigrate your body with milk I cannot possibly be frightened of you.


Am I wrong? Are any of these actually scary to anyone?


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