wI've been watching movies since the day I was born and I thought I would finally share my infinite film wisdom gained from many moons sitting on a couch with you good people so that they too may learn to leave permanent imprints in your furniture. Anyways, here's a list of the 10 movies I would watch on my death bed, if they can install a television in my death bed so I can watch them as my bed plummets down an enormous ramp at the speed of sound as I attempt to become the first man to ramp over Mount Everest, it may be physically impossible, but I've gotta keep the dream alive. But I digress, here is my list of my favorite films ever to grace the silver screen.
10. The Incredibles (Animation)
I figured I'd start the list off with one thing the kids might know and should if they don't, The Incredibles. That's right I've secretly loved Pixar from behind closed doors like everyone else too. This is the superhero movie I wanted when I was a kid, well, I guess I had Jack Nicholson burning people to death will joke buzzers, but I have a feeling I would've enjoyed this film a bit more at the time. This movie, like all good kids movies is not only good for kids, there were parts of this film that I was cracking up at quite hardily until I regained my senses and looked around my empty house to assure my dogs hadn't seen my shame. The Incredibles is a well written, well acted, well animated, and overall well made film that shouldn't be missed by anyone, young or old.
9. The Truman Show (Comedy/Thriller)
This is one of those films that took everybody by surprise because Jim Carrey went from "I've been laughing so hard I think I broke my wind pipe" funny, to "I should check my toilet for hidden cameras" serious. It's a great film with a slightly creepy premise, some good laughs, good drama and it might leave you thinking differently about the world for a while after you watch it. Definitely worth making yourself even more paranoid about the N.S.A. by watching!
8. Army of Darkness (Horror)
Army of Darkness is, in essence, about an American guy with a chainsaw for a hand being sent back to England to save a bunch of British nerds from zombies by being a hilarious, wise-cracking, bad*ss. And it is AWESOME! Take it from the director of Spider-Man 3 to make one of the greatest horror movies of all time, but we'll try not to think about that one.
7. Scarface (Drama)
Meet Al Pacino as classic gangster character Tony "Scarface" Montana, a nice young man who comes to the United States to make a living the best way you can in America, by doing something which doesn't require taxes, i.e. apparently murdering lots of people and selling drugs. All he's got is his word, his balls, and a truck load of cocaine, Oscar-worthy antics ensue!
6. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Mind Bending)
Leave it to the movie based on a book written by a man who started an entire literary genre and had his ashes fired out of a 200 ft. tall double-thumbed fist statue holding a peyote button, loaded with fireworks to be one of the most interesting, well-written, and quotable films of all time. You can't make this stuff up, or maybe you can when you're writing it on acid, a cult classic no film fan should miss.
5. Spaceballs (Comedy)
This was a tough choice for me being a major comedy aficionado, but out of all the comedies I've seen over the years, there's only one I've memorized line for line and that's Spaceballs. The finest film of one of the greatest comedy directors of all time, Mel Brooks in my humble opinion, and, if you're anything like me, the only time during this movie a joke won't work is when you're laughing to hard from the last one to hear the next. A spoof to end all spoofs with great writing, acting, and an actual plot, doesn't get much better than this.
4. The Matrix (Action/Adventure)
Of all of the scores of great action movies that I have loved and adored over the years, the Matrix was just the clear choice for me. It's one of the most fantastically choreographed, well written, kick*ss, and thought-provoking action films ever made. WARNING: Do not attempt plug any USB cables into any of your body parts so that you can "Know Kung Fu," and do not look at any spoons for too long after watching either or you'll go cross-eyed!
3. Princess Bride (Fantasy)
Another quotable classic, if you haven't checked this one out because it doesn't have a single word you can fist pump to, you should ask any person who isn't insecure about their sixth finger to teach you the meaning of, "To the pain," or immediately legally change your last name to "Humperdinck."
2. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (Sci Fi)
This one goes without saying, if you haven't seen Star Wars, the entire original trilogy at the Movie Pilot stage in the film fan game, we can't be friends. Just kidding, I'm actually just concerned you might suffocate to death under your rock. But in all seriousness, you may want to check this epic classic out before you die of pop culture deprivation.
1. Hero (Dramady)
I know what you're thinking, what an anti-climactic monstrosity, how dare this miserable ingrate share his own opinions with me on the internet, but guess what, my list my rules. This one has a bit of a sentimental value with me, I used to watch it with my dad and it taught me that no matter how rough things get, you always have a chance to make things better.
So, yeah, opinions. Don't like 'em? Don't care. Have some of your own? I'd love to hear them in the comments below! PEACE.