ByAlisha Grauso, writer at Creators.co
Editor-at-large here at Movie Pilot. Nerd out with me on Twitter, comrades: @alishagrauso
Alisha Grauso

In case you didn't see this already over the weekend, yet another artist (this time by the name of Isaiah Stephens) has decided to reimagine some of the characters from our childhood. This time, it's the gang from early 90s cartoon Doug as adults (or at least late teens) and drawn much more realistically...or at least, as realistically as a bunch of mutants can look.

Seriously, I can't be the only one who thinks that they look like a new cast of brand-new students for a rebooted X-Men cartoon, right? But what would their mutant names be? What powers would they have? Let's have some fun!

(Protip: If you've never watched the cartoon or have forgotten some of the characters, click here to refresh your memory.)

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DOUG FUNNIE (AND PORKCHOP)

MUTANT CODE NAME: Mindwarp (formerly Quailman)

BIOGRAPHY: Doug lived a relatively uneventful life prior to his family moving to the small town of Bluffington when he was 11. As a preteen, he was introspective and often prone to bouts of anxiety due to his desire to please and fit in, and his closest friend was his pet dog, Porkchop. Doug was often picked on in school, most often by Roger Klotz, thanks to his tendency to daydream, along with having conversations aloud with Porkchop.

When a tragic explosion at the Deja Vu Recycling Center killed both his parents, Doug's grief caused his powers to start manifesting in strange and dangerous ways. Professor Charles Xavier quickly tracked him down and brought him to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Once there, Doug finally felt he had found a place he truly belonged for the first time in his life, and quickly grew into a top student - and one of its most powerful.

POWERS AND ABILITIES: Despite being relatively weak as a human, Doug is supremely powerful as a mutant (possibly Omega level, though not even Professor X is sure of the full extent of his abilities), able to warp reality with the power of his imagination. Doug is strong enough to make small warps permanent, though large-scale reality warps are projections that Doug can sustain for up to an hour at a time. However, the power it requires leaves him weakened and somewhat mentally unstable in the immediate aftermath. He has a sentient link with Porkchop, who has the ability to siphon off some of the excess power after Doug sustains a large-scale warp, keeping Doug from lashing out and harming anyone.

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MOSQUITO "SKEETER" VALENTINE

MUTANT CODE NAME: The Silver Skeeter

BIOGRAPHY: Skeeter is Doug's best friend and the only close human friend Doug has. He and Doug first met at the Honker Burger in Bluffington, when Skeeter's kind and perceptive nature made him realize Doug felt like an outcast and needed a friend. Skeeter is also somewhat ostracized by the other students for appearing slow-minded with suspected Tourette's Syndrome due to the involuntary honking noises he frequently makes. Unlike Doug, however, Skeeter appears to be perfectly content with who he is and doesn't let the bullying trouble him much.

He heads to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngers when Professor X, sensing his abilities, poses as the headmaster of a school for differently-abled students. Skeeter's hot-tempered father is only too happy to send him off. Professor X quickly realizes the honking noises Skeeter makes aren't nervous tics at all, but manifestations of his power. He fashions a silver helmet for Skeeter to help him focus his power, and Skeeter finally becomes the person he was meant to be.

POWERS AND ABILITIES: Once he has the helmet (he later receives a permanent implant), it helps him focus his power, which upgrades his brain to beyond genius level. He's able to read any language instantaneously (even if alien), solve any puzzle within seconds, crack any code, and identify and address problems for the mutants before they even happen. The helmet also breaks him of his physical clumsiness, and Skeeter possesses superhuman speed, agility, and reflexes. This, combined with his preternatural ability to predict all outcomes makes him appear psychic at times, though it's simply his beyond-genius intellect.

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ROGER KLOTZ (AND STINKY)

MUTANT CODE NAME: Roughshock

BIOGRAPHY: Roger is a troubled child, growing up in a broken, poverty-stricken home in a trailer park at the edge of town. He's three years older than everyone in his class, leading his classmates to assume he was held back due to low IQ or learning disabilities. While certainly not the brightest of students, Roger failing so many classes is the byproduct of his turbulent home rather than a lack of intelligence. However, he's acutely aware of what other students think of him, and desperately embarrassed about his situation, which he hides by bullying the other students in school.

Roger's mother kicks him out when he's 17 when he gets arrested again for petty theft, and he lives on the streets for a few months before being taken in by Professor Xavier. It's not an easy adjustment for Roger, who is highly guarded and has a deep mistrust of authority due to his background. He runs away from the school a few times before finally realizing that Professor X is a good man, and eventually comes to see him as a father figure.

POWERS AND ABILITIES: While in Bluffington, Roger was a skilled electric guitarist. It is discovered that this is due to his ability to attract and generate both electricity and sound waves. He can expel bolts of electricity from his hands, along with sound waves that can shatter glass or take apart any inorganic material at the molecular level. He can also turn the sound waves inward, healing his body from any physical damage 10x faster than a normal human.

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PATRICIA "PATTI" MAYONNAISE

MUTANT CODE NAME: Nike

BIOGRAPHY: Patti has known Doug since they were children, though she did not at first return the romantic feelings he held for her, viewing the smart, awkward boy as a good friend but not boyfriend material, as competitive and physically athletic as she was.

Patti uses sports as a means of escape to vent her frustrations about her family life, with her mother being dead and a paraplegic father she's had to care for from a young age. She's lettered in four different sports in high school, including track, soccer, softball, basketball, and is an accomplished martial artist. Her life is turned upside down when the first instance of a full manifestation of his power hits Doug while he's visiting, destroying Patti's home in the process. With nowhere else to go, she follows Doug to the Xavier School.

POWERS AND ABILITIES: Patti takes her mutant name from the goddess of victory, and the moment she accepts the name as her true one, a pair of golden wings spring from her back. She has the power of flight, along with superhuman speed, reflexes, agility, vision, hearing, and strength. She is almost impossible to beat in hand-to-hand combat, having created a special form of martial art that is hers alone, enabling her to use her wings for offense or blocking as easily as she uses her arms and legs.

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BEEBE BLUFF

MUTANT CODE NAME: Goldstar

BIOGRAPHY: Beebe comes from an unimaginably wealthy family that owns half of Bluffington (named after her family) and as a result, can be incredibly snobby and spoiled. Still, she is close friends with Patti and a few other girls at school, but the boys of the school steer clear of her due to her stuck-up nature.

Beebe is aware of how half the school feels about her, but keeps her prickly nature up as a defense, assuming the only reason anyone likes her is for her money - and knowing she's far more strange inside than she lets on. When Beebe's rigid, prejudiced father learns she's in love with Skeeter (though unrequited), he grows enraged and disowns her. Patti suggests she come to see Professor X, and Beebe ends up staying as she is welcomed for her abilities and not her money.

POWERS AND ABILITIES: Beebe has the ability to attract wealth and treasure, which explains her childhood knack for always finding loose change and occasional instances of gold coins appearing out of thin air and raining down around her. She can turn anything she touches into gold, along with having the ability to shoot gold filaments and ropes from her fingers to achieve the same effect on distant objects. Due to gold's conductive properties, she can use this ability to short out any sort of electronics or technology, and because of its mass, she can effectively take down any airborne objects and kill her enemies by infusing or coating them with gold.

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JUDY FUNNIE

MUTANT CODE NAME: Changeling

BIOGRAPHY: Judy is Doug's older sister, but she goes to a special school for gifted students and is considered the black sheep of the family. A gifted actress, she studies Shakespeare and drama voraciously and hopes for nothing more than to one day be a professional actress.

Despite her occasional bouts of being embarrassed at how square and boring her family is, she and Doug get along well for siblings. They have occasional moments of bickering as all siblings do, but have each other's backs when challenged by an outsider. Like Doug, she is orphaned when their parents are killed, and figures Xavier's School for Gifted Youngers is an upgrade even to the special school she already attends. She embraces her new life, happy that everyone at her new school is as strange and misfit as she'd always wanted.

POWERS AND ABILITIES: Like her sibling, Judy's powers are of the warping of reality sort, though the scope of her powers are internal rather than external. She can use glamour to change her face and shape at will, using her talents as an actress to fool even those closest to her. She also has a knack for mimicry, able to replicate someone's voice almost perfectly after hearing just a few words, and then being able to physically transform herself into that person once she has their voice down. Because of her abilities, she is a master-level spy and assassin.

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CHALKY STUDEBAKER

MUTANT CODE NAME: Captain Crash

BIOGRAPHY: Outwardly, Chalky is the quintessential picture of a school jock, a gifted athlete who is captain of every one of Bluffington High's varsity teams. However, his jockish outward persona belies his friendly and helpful nature - he is the definition of a "good guy." Chalky is usually easygoing and prone to celebrating the successes of others rather than wanting them to lose.

Despite this, his family is ultra-competitive and one to whom winning comes naturally and is to be expected. As a result, Chalky is sometimes stressed out from the pressure of trying to get out from under the shadow of his superstar older brother, Cliff, live up to his parents' expectations, and balance all of his extracurricular activities. During his junior year, he suffers a nervous breakdown and his parents decide to send him to Professor Xavier's school rather than admit they had a son other people might perceive as "weak."

POWERS AND ABILITIES: Chalky has superhuman strength and speed and can project a force field around himself that he can expand to be almost 100 yards in diameter or shrink so that it becomes almost like a second skin. When in the latter form, he is almost impervious to physical injury and can endure superhuman amounts of physical punishment before it affects him. When he expands the force field, he can encompass his team members fighting with him, offering them protection from any sort of area-of-effect powers from enemies.

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You can see the rest of the reimagined characters here on Elite Daily, so make sure to check them out and feel free to come up with powers I may have missed!


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