"I love your mother's cookies."
You know, you'd think by this point in human history, the lesson "don't have sex with a teenager when you are an adult" would kind of go without saying. But here we are again, with a new thriller from Blumhouse that purports to teach us this very thing. But hey, Jennifer Lopez!
Let's turn to the IMDb description of Rob Cohen's The Boy Next Door for a little bit of misleading summarization.
Shortly after her divorce, a woman falls for handsome younger man who just moved in across the street, though their torrid affair that takes an obsessive, dangerous turn.
First: that handsome younger man? As evidenced by the trailer, he's a STUDENT in her HIGH SCHOOL CLASS. So if by younger, you mean jailbait, then yes, he's handsome and younger.
Second: Torrid affair, huh? Is that what we are calling one-nighters now? Torrid affairs? Oh, marketing department. You are outrageous. Truly, truly outrageous.
Listen, I haven't been a fan of the "woman in peril" film since Sleeping with the Enemy. But if you are seriously going to take the Mary Kay Letourneau story and try to make HER the sympathetic lead character, you better cast Bette Midler in that ish because otherwise, I'm not seeing the appeal. BUT Blumhouse, so this movie will probably be at least a moderate hit. And if you're interested in The Boy Next Door, you can watch the trailer below and catch the film when it comes to theaters on January 23, 2015.