ByEvan Lee, writer at
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -Charlie Chaplin .
Evan Lee

Brace yourselves!


For we are about to jump on the "real" life "horror" bandwagon, sorta.


So I heard you enjoyed reading stories about people being murdered and all that sick mumbo-jumbo! It's cool, I won't judge you, but do you want to read about some real horrifying stuff? Yes? Great!

Here's my list of real life situations that are pure horror, kinda. These should definitely be turned into movies. I'm warning you this is some scary stuff!


You can leave while you have the chance.
You can leave while you have the chance.


1. Losing your wallet

That's the way I felt when I lost my wallet
That's the way I felt when I lost my wallet

This is a very scary and horrific situation and it gets worse when you're on dates.

Me: Don't worry baby dinner is on me.

Girl: Are you ok?

Me: Yeah, yeah (starts patting back pants pockets)... Ugh, what the hell? I swear I brought it with me.

Girl: Baby.

Me: Give me a minute, dammit!

15-minutes later you find your wallet, you look up and your date had left 15-minutes earlier leaving you with the bill alone. Hollywood takes notes you can make a movie about this because it's a scary situation.


2. Trying to hold your fart in public

Stay focus look
Stay focus look

This has happened to me quite a few times and boy is it frightening. You know it's the real thing when you begin to cramp, sweat and make funny faces. My best advice is to let it rip plus women do it all the time at the mall and point at the dudes. I'm on to you ladies and your smelly-silent phantoms of death!


3. Cramping up in the pool

check out my girlfriends they're pretty hot, right?
check out my girlfriends they're pretty hot, right?

I don't care what anyone says if I just ate a meal I'm waiting an hour before I get into the pool! I could actually sit here and tell jokes about cramping up in the pool, but this can be a scary situation. There are situations where people have died drowning from exhaustion and leg cramps while swimming. Imagine you're stranded on a sinking boat and your only chance is to dive off that boat and swim more than five miles to shore.

Imagine receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from a lifeguard that looks like Ron Jeremy. Yikes!


4. Clogged Toilet

Every time this happens to me the room turns pitch black, there's a bright aura that surrounds my clogged toilet and the music plays. Oh, the horror, the horror!

I bet you regret eating that Cheesy Double Beef Burrito from Taco Bell.


5. Puberty

Hair growing in unknown places, pimples the size of marbles emerging on your forehead, something strange starts to grow within your pants when you see someone attractive and uncontrollable cracking of the voice. These things are what nightmares are made of.


Well, this was a stupid and very informative article. Truth be told I could actually write down some comical horror scripts based on these real life situations... Maybe not a useless article after all. By the way I won't ever do this again.

Next "Real Life Horror" article will be about the real exorcist house, how I use to live a block away from that actual house, my dad was on set in Georgetown, my older brother seeing ghosts in our old house and believing our house was the real house that took place for the exorcism!


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