ByCarla D'Alessandro, writer at

Harry Potter is the most famous wizard in the world, being the one to several times hinder, and eventually vanquish, the most dangerous dark wizard of all time.

But it appears that Mr Potter just can't get enough of his fame. A source close to the Quibbler has revealed that Harry Potter lives a secret double life. By day, he is an a mild-mannered auror. By night, he is a rocker by the name of Harold Porter, who has recently shot to the top of the Muggle music charts for his debut single "Can I Slytherin your Gryffindor?"

He is wasting no time trying to live the rock and roll lifestyle, this weekend having been seen in a drunken stupor taking out his rage on the Whomping Willow, then playing air guitar with one of its flaming branches until he passed out from a combination of alcohol poisoning and smoke inhalation.

Former Hogwarts Charms Professor and Choir Conductor, now record producer, Filius Flitwick, refuses to reveal the secrets behind how Mr Potter's single seems to have the Muggle world captivated, but it is believed to be an attempt to fulfil Potter's mentor, Albus Dumbledore's original plans to lead a world with muggles subservient to wizards, through a combination of subliminal messaging and vocal tuning charms. Is there a connection to Rotfang? Only time will tell...

Rita Skeeter


Latest from our Creators