Paramount have been hankering for a Baywatch remake for a while now, and it seems they may finally be about to dust off those red swimsuits. Rejoice, for the word is that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson has been hired to lead a rewrite of the franchise.
The last time we saw a Baywatch movie was back in 1995, when the direct-to-DVD outing, Hawaiian Wedding, gyrated into existence.
Needless to say, Paramount's new project seems to be maintaining the same tongue-in-cheek tone, which Johnson confirmed with this amusing Facebook update:
This is my beach bitch!" This should be a lot of fun... we're making #BAYWATCH the movie. Edgy, raunchy and hopefully, funny as all hell. Cue slo mo running on the beach...
While Johnson's clearly excited to get those teeny shorts on his gigantic thighs, the plot details have yet to be confirmed. At one point it was reported that it would revolve "around a series of shark attacks that led the Baywatch team to investigate a drug-smuggling operation."
Meanwhile, Sean Anders and John Morris (We're The Millers) are set to direct, while Justin Malen has been hired to rewrite the script that's been circulating since 2012.
Personally, however, I don't see what's wrong with the original idea: The Rock. Sharks. The whole thing is so wonderfully ludicrous. I mean, how are the sharks even related to the drug operation? Maybe...
The sharks are drug mules.
The Rock discovers that the cartel are misusing sharks for evil deeds, rescues them from the ocean, and takes them to shark rehab. Hugs sharks. The end.
The shark is actually a bodyguard with a fake fin on his head, scaring off potential intruders.
The Rock is annoyed to learn he can't fight a shark and dispatches of the man with a pitying flex of his forearm. Hugs a real shark. The end.
The sharks contain cocaine
Forced to swallow product for the cartel, the sharks are cut open like sad plastic bags by their clients. The Rock is angered by this blatant insult to the shark community and intervenes with force. Hugs all the sharks. The end.
(Source: Geek Tryant)