It's no wonder that Chris Martin leapt straight from Gwyneth Paltrow's gluten free arms and cozied up with Jennifer Lawrence, because the 24-year-old actress endorses a fart fragranced, carb crammed universe of joy!
Lawrence opened up on her idea of an ideal relationship to Vanity Fair magazine and she has some pretty modest requests for her lovers. Namely, an adoration for trash TV, a love of all things bready, and sprinking of flatulence.
The Oscar winning actress admitted that she doesn't enjoy highbrow TV in her spare time and that her ideal suitor should have a high tolerance for a certain gaggle of housewives. She explained that:
I would just rather have somebody that has the same taste in reality TV. I love Intervention, New York Housewives—and Beverly Hills, New Jersey, and Atlanta Housewives. I mean, I love them all, but Miami—oh, my God! Miami is really special.
If you're prone to letting one slip out while you're slouching on the couch then it's not a problem for JLaw who would rather have a more mundane, smelly relly than the cinematic love affair. She told interviewers that:
I want a partner who, you know, isn’t afraid to fart in front of me [rather] than to have big, passionate love. I’d rather have just a peaceful time. [Those relationships] are deeper because you can be your true self with somebody, and somebody can be their true self with you.
There's one catch though. You can't have celiac disease or be a vegan. Vanity Fairs Sam Kashner wrote:
"Jennifer is the anti-vegan, anti-gluten-free consumer, having just eaten a breakfast of spaghetti and meatballs before the interview.” Although she can overlook the vegan preferences of her friend and Hunger Games co-star Woody Harrelson, she seems to be suspicious of similar health-food trends, describing gluten-free as “the new cool eating disorder, the ‘basically I just don’t eat carbs.’”
So what are you waiting for mere mortals? Call this lady up and get yourself a date.
Don't worry about Chris Martin, you could totally take him!