ByThe Guild of Nerds, writer at
Actor. Singer. Comedian. Writer. Badass.
The Guild of Nerds

Enough is enough, people! We have had movies that shouldn't exist that do because of movie executives and I'm sick of it! From Green Lantern to Spider-Man 3, a lot of comic book movies suck! Why are they out then? Who thought it was a good idea to put barely any Iron Man in Iron Man 2? Who thought coming out with a fourth Superman movie was a good idea after the disaster that was Superman 3? And who the hell thought ANYTHING about X-Men 3 was a good idea?

F^(%ing movie executives who only want money!

Sincerely, The Guild of Nerds
Sincerely, The Guild of Nerds

Seriously, the only thing movie studios want is money. They don't want quality movies, or a good script, they just want a freaking Hulk movie that made fans want to throw up. What they don't get is their target audience are the people who they're pissing off with one "F^(% you" movie after another. So, LET NERDS WORK ON COMIC BOOK MOVIES.

Is that not clear? I repeat:


Seriously, we're the ones who know the stories inside and out, we all have dream casting for these movies, and we know who can act and who can't! We wouldn't have another Affleck as Daredevil (But he'll NAIL Batman. No sarcasm.) We won't have Megan Fox as April O'Neil, and most importantly, we won't have George Clooney as Batman. EVER.


What we WILL have is great comic book movies, though! We won't have any more Batman and Robins, we'll have Dark Knights! No Superman 4s, but Superman 1s! (And 2, I guess.) No more Spider-Man 3s, Amazing Spidermans!

We could have incredible movies if the studios put people who are passionate about the comics on the project! Like how JJ Abrams is a Trekkie, and stayed close to the source material and made a legitimately good movie that both hardcore fans and people who think Star Trek and Star Wars are the same can enjoy! THAT's why I was so happy to see Zack Snyder on Man of Steel! THAT'S why I was happy to see Joss Whedon direct the Avengers! THAT'S why I think the first two Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies are so goddamn great till emo Peter Parker took a huge dump on it!

Plus, I think a lot of us would do this for free if given the chance! Hell, I'd PAY to work on the Justice League movie!

If Zack Snyder's reading...
If Zack Snyder's reading...

If studios could hire loyal fans and writers of the comics to help with the movies, we would never have the second Fantasic Four! Or the first Fantastic Four!

And if they make a good movie, then more people will pay, which gets studios more money, allowing them to hire more nerds to make more good movies that more people will come to see, making them money, allowing them to hire more nerds to make good movies, etc. It's a great cycle!

But the damn movie executives think "It's a great idea to have Venom, Green Goblin, and Sandman all in the same movie, as well as making Peter Parker emo!" or "No, don't worry, having nipples on the Batsuit and a close up on Clooney's Batawang in the same shot is a great idea, as well as having Robin be super annoying and having the villains tell horrible puns!"

Shut up.
Shut up.

So dear executives: Go f^(% yourselves.

Dear Legendary Pictures and Warner Brothers: Hire me for Dawn of Justice.


What do you guys think? Should movie executives just leave comic book movies?


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