ByAllanah Faherty, writer at
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Allanah Faherty

The Harry Potter universe is a place that people can't seem to get enough of! Despite 10 books and eight movies we still want more!

Over on Reddit's Writing Prompts, one of the best (and funniest) potential scenarios of the Harry Potter universe has been put to its writers: Hogwarts holds mandatory sex education class with Ministry approved curriculum. Prof. McGonagall will teach the girls. Prof. Snape will teach the boys.

Strap yourselves in and enjoy some of the best excerpts I could find:


Mr. and Mrs. Weasley helped write the course material:

User dingo8muhbabies writes:

Snape and McGonagall were going to be teaching sex ed. Ron and Ginny were both extremely red faced, and Harry later found out that this was because Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had been asked to help the ministry put together the course material. He supposed that after seven children, they were fairly well practiced. He then shuddered at the thought.


Neville would naturally make a bit of a fool of himself:

dingo8muhbabies continues:

Snape did exactly as the ministry notes suggested and had them all write a question that they had so that they could be answered anonymously. 'Longbottom! You were not meant to write your name you foolish boy! But in answer to your question you must not use an engorgement charm on your private area or you may risk permanent damage.' The class burst out laughing and Neville ran out of the room immediately. 'No great loss, unless he finds a charm to impregnate his left hand I daresay he'll never need to know any of this' Snape said snidely.


Voldemort could cause unwanted pregnancy:

From megamouth2:

"Remember, you must check the packaging to make sure that the condom has not passed its use-by date, make sure that there is a little bit of air in the package, and also make sure that it does not carry the Dark Mark. If the packet does have a Dark Mark present, you are not to use the condom, and you are to alert a senior staff member immediately," Professor McGonagall's words rang like alarm bells.


Snape would obviously assign homework:

From Oniknight:

Neville wasn't the only one who looked distinctly ill by the time Snape dismissed them with a two foot essay on venereal diseases due the next morning.


Luna would consider inter-species relations?!

Oniknight continues:

I think the centaurs are quite nice,” Luna continued dreamily, “They always provide me with insight about the bigger picture whenever I meet one in the woods on my hunt for Nargles. Though I don’t know if I would ever marry one. A centaur, I mean. Nargles are obviously quite unattractive.


These excerpts are just a tiny sampling of what the talented brains over at Writing Prompts have come up with, so if you're hungry for more, make sure you take a look!

As for me, well, Muggle sex education was cringey enough - I'm not entirely convinced I could get through a chapter about a Hogwarts sex education class without the help of an Obliviate charm afterwards to forget all about it!


Source: iO9, Reddit


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