There are three things writers have to do; inform, protect and attempt to be cool.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman told us we have zero chance at the innocuous “c” word but you have to at least try. The second we give up we end up crying on the phone to teenage writers having trouble at their new Rolling Stone gig.
Now the reason I’m saying all this is because there is one writer out there who has fallen a bit and instead of being mean like the rest of the internet, I want to help pick him up. That’s right Mr. Reed Tucker of the New York Post. This open letter is to you.
Back in September you wrote an open letter of your own titled “Dear Kevin Smith: Stop smoking so much weed." It made me sad reading your piece because I bet when you were a little kid you had these big dreams of saving the world. We all did. It's doubtful that the same area of your brain which dreamed of wall crawling envisioned a future repeating the same crusty old crap Richard Nixon did when he spoke of the happy psychoactive substances.
Come on Mr. Tucker. You’re smarter than that. It wasn't cool to say he messed up with Tusk because I speak for a lot of people who chimed in with the hashtag of "Walrus Yes."
Some of us loved the soliloquy between Johnny Depp and Michael Parks. Where else could you see two of the best character actors of our time going toe to toe in the movie equivalent of Hogan vs. Andre or Knight crossing home plate in the 1986 World Series?
Plus, I'm not sure if you have the right to call any movie bad at this point. You wrote an excited pre-review piece about the new Left Behind movie and used an as-excited-as-you quote by Rick Santorum. (I’m surprised the Santorum quote was even able to reach cyber print because usually when people type out his name they have to wipe a fountain load of vomit off their laptop. Please tell me about your screen protector.) It’s a little late to be questioning movie tastes.
Also it’s not fair to deem a movie a failure by how much it made in theatres as you did in your piece. Fight Club, Office Space, the Big Lebowski and Shawshank were considered bombs but they still continue to sit in every white male’s DVD collection waiting to be seen whenever they ask a girl to come over and "watch a movie."
Not everything can be Gone Girl or Good Will Hunting.
All movies aside though, it REALLY wasn't cool to go after marijuana the way you did. Look, if it was 1972 and the National Commission on Marihuana and Drug Abuse were playing the role of Joseph Goebbels I could understand why you’d be voicing concern for Smith. Us Americans were easier to manipulate through the press back then because we didn’t have the internet.
This is 2014 though. At your fingertips is an unlimited amount of information and all you have to do is fire up a web browser and type “weed.”
On the following tab you’ll find everything you need to know in less than .042 seconds. Never in the history of man -starting from our apely ancestors- have we had such easy access to every known fact about our universe. You no longer have the right to be so ignorant when it comes to this subject. Doing so is just lazy.
For every pill the FDA carts out there, not one has the ability to prevent blindness in glaucoma patients, reverse the carcinogenic effects of tobacco, prevent epileptic seizures, decrease anxiety and prevent the spread of cancer, all at once. (Marijuana does!) If they did approve such a drug the side effect would probably end up being pant shitting.
The only way you’ll involuntarily shit your pants while high is if you get too stoned and go overboard at Whole Foods.
I may not be able to sway your opinions on marijuana because I understand it's hard to get off the front porches' rocking chair where you yell at the neighbor kids but as fellow writers, we should commend Smith for writing such an out-of-the-box idea in Tusk. For a while it looked like absurdity only existed in South Park so we should be thanking Odin and the Fat Man on Batman for this bizarre movie which graced our silver screens.
Respect the balls it took to have mainstream success in Hollywood and still make an unfiltered film. As we've witnessed success breeds comfort. It has happened so many times and Smith taught us there is still a chance to breathe a sigh of relief whenever venturing through the unbeaten path.
At the risk of sounding like a mommy, I want you to think about what you said Mr. Tucker. That was an unfair thing you told all your friends about that Smith boy down the street and his marijuana.