ByAngel Suarez, writer at
Angel Suarez

Rewriting the "The Grinch That Stole Christmas" into a horror movie:

Violent Night (The Grinch's Christmas Carol)

Twas' the night before Christmas

When all through the streets

Zombies were terrorizing n'

Getting their season's eats

A hand over there

A foot for the neighbor

A whole dog for one

It was awful behavior


Along came the Grinch

And looked at the sight

He could not of wished for

A better night than tonight

He sneaked around town

And watched with such glee

"Who would've guessed

How horrid Christmas could be?"

A zombie approached and

Looked the Grinch up and down

As he hobbled and stumbled

Grinch laid him back in the ground

With a blast of his shotgun

And a hack with the axe

The Grinch hummed "Silent Night"

As he split the zombie in half.

All the music was now silent

And the bells were not ringing

Most the lights were torn down

And the carolers weren't singing

Most the people had "turned"

And more interested in bringing

The rest of the world to their side

Until no more jingle bells were jinglin'

The Grinch sat with his pup and

Admired the sights to be seen

It's not often you could compare

Christmas to Halloween

He laughed hard in his belly

And started stomping his feet

Oh the grunting and groaning

Was what made the silence so sweet

He took his shotgun and he

Loaded it and cocked it again

And because all of the noise

He made, started attracting his "friends"

One shot tore a zombie

Straight out of his Santa suit

Left an awfully big mess

On his oversized Santa boots

Another shot the Grinch missed

And the shotgun jammed

The Grinch kicked in his head

Just as hard as he can

With a crack and a smash

The zombies came without pause

But the Grinch was having too much fun

To see the damage his "friends" may cause

With a blast and a crunch

In caved Jerry's head with a splash

And Gertrude and Hannah

Both got the butt end of the gun in a flash

Amid the cutting and slashing

And the stomping and punching

In the distance the Grinch heard

Tiny hoofbeats acrunching

And amid the cries of terror

The Grinch heard a loud voice

Someone cried "Ho Ho Ho"

And laughed with utter rejoice

The zombies all stopped in their tracks

And stared up with a push and shove

It was a zombified Santa

With 8 rotting reindeers aflyin' above

Santa threw pieces and parts

And "presents" to us all

I saw arms, legs, and torsos

Even a half eaten jaw

The Grinch laughed and he cried

Oh I think I like Christmas time

As a small zombie tore into

The back of his thigh

The Grinch waved at the Santa

And started singing "Fahoo Forays"

And smiling as he felt his

Once too small heart decay

With a flash Santa began to

Ride away into the dark of the night

"Merry Christmas to all!

And to all a good bite and good fright!

- Copyright © 2014 by Angel Suarez / The Number 42


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