ByRand Benjamin Einfeldt, writer at Creators.co
I'm a Fan Theorist. I give ridiculous predictions for movies and TV shows. I'd like to call them "Ridictable Theories"!
Rand Benjamin Einfeldt

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Shakespeare wrote the movies that we have today? Here are some of the movie quotes translated into Shakespeare! I hope that you will enjoy!

Taken

“I know not who thou art. I know not what thou wanteth. If ye looketh for a ransom, I telleth thee; shillings I have none. But what I doth poses art very particular set of skills; skills for this long time hath I gained in my career. Skills that maketh me a nightmare to thee, Villain! If thou let my daughter go to, this will have an end. I will look for thee not, I will pursue thee not. But if thou doth not, I will look for thee, I will find thee, and I will kill thee!”


The Terminator

“I beckon thee, come! If thou wish to live!”


Sudden Impact

“Go to, fulfill my day!”


Army of Darkness

“O list thou peasant swains! Hark! This here is my long sword!”


They Live

“I cometh here to chew upon gum of ooze and kick buttocks! And gum of ooze, I have none!”


Napoleon Dynamite

“I perceive thou art drinking one percent. Doth thou thinkest thou art fat as butter? Because thou no art. Thou couldst drink whole, if thou wishes.”


Tommy Boy

“Fat man in a petticoat.”


“Methinks thy brain hath a thick candy shell in’t.”


Tropic Thunder

“Everyone will swear, thou shalt not act with a plentiful lack of wit.”


Zoolander

“I pray thee? Is this not a household for atomies!?! How now can we expect to teach our children to read thence, if they canst fit in’t?”


Dumb & Dumber

“Yea, I called her, she bringeth dunghill upon me for listing not to her, or something in’t. I know not, my best attention was elsewhere.”


“We usually do not aid strangers… perchance my instinct is of greater matter. Saddle upon our chariot good fellow!”


“Samsonite! I was afar off! I knew it hath an ‘S’ in’t, in sooth.”


“Life is a fragile vessel, Harry. One minute thou chew upon a sauced meat, the next thou art dead like unto it.”


“O, good sir! Thou art one pathetical twit! Take no offense i’ this.”



Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

“If I come not back in five minutes, stay here longer.”


A Few Good Men

“Villain, thou cans’t handle the absolute!”


Pitch Perfect

“Well… sometimes I feel I must take bitter pills, but methinks, mmm… perchance not.”


“Well, at least thy virginity breedeth not mites. Or doth thou hath i’ also?”


“Chloe, no need to fret, it meaneth God punisheth thee for thy hair of redness.”


Dude Where’s My Car?

“Coz. what sayest mine?” “Coz!” “O, coz, what doth mine say?” “Swag!”


“Coz, wherein my chariot went?”


Billy Madison

“What thou hast newly said is with the most insane idiot of thought I have hereto list.


With no attempt in thy bootless babblings did thee aim so near not with anything that falls purpose.


Everyone within this cubiculo, thou madest ware a coxcomb for having list it. I award thee nothing, and may God have mercy upon thy soul.”


(500)Days of Summer

“She left a mass of dunghill upon the face of mine. Tis sooth!”


Fight Club

“Hark! The first rule of ‘Band of Fight’ is thou speakest not of Band of Fight.”



The Wedding Singer

“I sayeth again, things that could have been compassed unto my best attention yesterday!”

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