Alright, now I'm a believer in everyone's favorite offensively-labeled "mommy porn" movie, 50 Shades. Why? Well, mainly because Northern Irish model-turned-actor Jamie Dornan is absolutely perfect for the part of Christian Grey, and not just because I could stare at his beautiful features and chiseled body all night...
However, although we've already sort of seen Jamie Dornan's man-parts (because we know that he exists all over Google Images in his Calvin Klein's, covered in baby oil - and we have used that to fuel our imaginations), Jamie himself has just revealed, to the disappointment of horny teenagers and bored housewives everywhere, that he will not be getting his manhood out at any point during 50 Shades of Grey.
That's right, all of us who were keeping our fingers crossed for a full-frontal are going to be sorely disappointed, because Jamie will not be showing off the family jewels. The heartthrob revealed to The Observer recently that:
You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous, and ugly, and graphic. There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um… Yeah, my todger.
By its very nature, 50 Shades of Grey is an erotic yarn about sexual domination and BDSM. But what's worrying some true 50 Shades fans is whether or not the movie will fulfill its kink potential.
Still, it certainly looks like good (and raunchy) things are coming our way. If you haven't already seen the trailer - which is crammed full of some seriously steamy new footage - then check this out!
There is a riding crop and some rope. Her hands are tied. Ana is naked, blindfolded and we see her body lurch forward, accompanied by moaning. Based on this little sneak preview of playboy Grey's toys, I have a good feeling that we're in for some seriously steamy on-screen lovin'. PANIC OVER!
Even without a full-frontal, are you convinced that Jamie Dornan will make an absolutely perfect Christian Grey?