ByJohn Mountain, writer at
John Mountain

Directed by Valeri Milev

Written by Frank H. Woodward

Let me be perfectly honest with all of you: I'm not even sure if this is what you would call a review. This is the sixth installment in the Wrong Turn franchise and it is what we have come to expect from these cookie cutter movies. A bunch of hipster douchebags trek into the Appalachians and are killed in various and sundry gory ways by a bunch of inbred douchebags with fingers missing and their teeth (what little they have) on permanent vacation from a toothbrush.

The plot of Wrong Turn 6 is that Danny inherits a hotel in the middle of mutant mountain folk country and brings his buddies along to check the place out. Things get weird when we discover that the caretakers are brother and sister and related to Danny. They're also related to everyone's favorite trio of freaks, Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye. This of course means that Danny is also related to Three Finger, Saw Tooth and One Eye. The brother and sister explain to Danny that they want to keep the family bloodline pure by "keeping it in the family." Incest is best so put your sister to the test-that sort of thing.

The kills in this series are beginning to edge too close to the unoriginal side. Although I do have to admit that the 'death by firehouse up the poop chute and the combination razor wire clothesline to the eyes and followed by decapitation were pretty nasty. While we're on the subject of the kills allow me to say that I usually pull for the mountain mutants over the hipsters.

The thing that disturbs me the most about the Wrong Turn films is why do I keep watching them? Scratch that. The question should read as, "Why do I keep buying them?" As bad as the films are and as bad as I rag on them I still find myself grabbing a copy off the shelf at Walmart and rushing for the register. Am I in it for the kills? Is it the gratuitous female nudity? I know the difference, mostly, between a good film and garbage. So finally I ask: What the hell is wrong with me?


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