ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Now, with all the speculation about what the next movie in the Amazing Spider-Man series will be - Sinister Six! Female Superhero Team Up Movie! Venom! - it's entirely possible to imagine that Sony is, in fact, pretty much just pursuing every single avenue they can in the hopes that one of the ideas sticks, and turns into the next Spider-Man 2.

That, though, is a pretty cynical line to take on the whole thing - so I've personally been inclined to give Sony the benefit of the doubt. After all, there were a lot of things to like about the Amazing Spider-series so far, even if it was far from perfect - and any of the suggested movies so far could, if done right, be fantastic.

And then, this happened...

Sony is making an Aunt May Solo Movie

Yup, with THAT Aunt May...
Yup, with THAT Aunt May...

Which, let's be honest, is a little weird.

According to LatinoReview, we won't just be seeing Aunt May as a supporting character in future Spider-movies - she'll be taking a central role in a movie of her own:

"A movie about Aunt May as a youth, before she was shouldered with the responsibility of raising Peter Parker. The target mood is some sort of espionage story in the vein of AMC’s Mad Men..." admittedly a whole lot better of an idea than an entire movie starring Sally Field (as awesome as she is) walking around the city, running errands, but it's still...a little out there.

And yet, it's apparently now in development at Sony.

The thing is, though, it's still far from the strangest Aunt May-related movie idea that they could be adapting - after all, the comics have done some...strange things with May over the years. So, I thought we should probably take a look at some of the strangest.

So, here are:

The Three Weirdest Aunt May Storylines (That We Probably Won't See on Screen)

Nope, none of those...
Nope, none of those...

First up...

Aunt May Becomes a Herald of Galactus

And you thought I was kidding...
And you thought I was kidding...

Yup, that's right, back in 1984, Aunt May was accidentally transformed into a herald of the world-eating super-being Galactus, thus becoming as powerful as The Silver Surfer.

Galactus then named her 'Golden Oldie,' proving that not only does Galactus hunger, he also likes being mildly offensive to the elderly.

And then, things got really weird:

Twinkie weird.
Twinkie weird.

That's right, it turns out that Galactus ends up being a massive fan of Hostess Twinkies (or, rather, Grostest Twinkles, because...satire?).

Which a convenient giant galactic Pilsbury Doughboy offers to make him planet sized versions of:

Because...of course...
Because...of course...

All of which means that Aunt May has to return to her regular, un-powered self.

And yet, the only reason we definitely won't see this on screen? The rights to Galactus are with Fox.

Aunt May Almost Marries Doctor Octopus

Who looks very swish in his tux.
Who looks very swish in his tux.

Yup, again, this actually happened - and unlike the whole Galactus thing, this was a major part of Spider-continuity, with a storyline that unfolded over several issues.

During which time Doc Ock seduced Aunt May, and persuaded her to marry him.

And why?

Hey, buddy. You watch what you say aboot Canada.
Hey, buddy. You watch what you say aboot Canada.

Why, real estate, of course.

Doc Ock was after Aunt May for the Canadian island she had just inherited (but didn't know about), which came complete with a...nuclear breeding reactor. Which was apparently a thing back in 1974.

But don't worry, gang, the whole thing worked out alright in the end - after Spider-Man kidnapped his own aunt.

Which we probably aren't going to see on screen any time soon.

And, of course, there's...

Aunt May's Flashback Romance Back-Story

In which (and this was in 2003, mind you) a young May and her best friend Mary get involved in a series of romantic mishaps, pre-marital sex, and teen pregnancy scandals with two brothers, Richard and Ben. All because of a palm-reading fortune teller.

And at the end of the story? May has a kid, who Mary raises with Richard, and who turns out to be none other than...Peter Parker. Who May then later raises herself with his aunt.

Which means that Aunt May was Peter Parker's mom all along (and had just a whole lot of sex when she was a teenager).

The only problem? Everyone hated the comic. Just...everyone. Meaning we're presumably about to see an entirely different origin story in the upcoming movie.

Though they should definitely leave the fortune teller part in....

What do you guys think, though?


What kind of Aunt May movie do you want to see?

via Latino Review


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