ByBJ Hall, writer at Creators.co
I write Comedy, Do Stand-up, Travel Through Time, and enjoy the FUCK out of a good movie! Twitter: @InitiallyDirty FB: https://www.facebook.
BJ Hall

Hey there fellow crime fighters! I normally do not do articles concerning video games. Not because I find them uninteresting (my couch will argue that point) and not because I don't have anything to say about them. I have been playing video games since the late 80's and can for sure provide feedback. It's mostly because video games, although becoming more and more like interacting movies in the last decade, are going in a satisfying direction. At least in my opinion, others may disagree... but shit man, anything is better than 8-bit to an 80's kid (and at the same time almost nothing is.... you older folks know what i am saying). Either way readers, I have noticed a trend when it comes to the Batman cinematic universe, of which I state in my article "3 Reasons Why BATMAN FOREVER Might Just Be the Best BATMAN Movie of ALL TIME!", that Batman is becoming so damn dark its depressing. I mean shit folks, just because he says "I am the night." does NOT mean his soul has to be just as black. It borderlines on depression just watching as he sulks around Gotham as if he doesn't know he is Batman until someone stabs him into remembrance. Even then he explodes in a blaze of nuclear fire.... what the hell? Just when Batman becomes the "hero Gotham needs" he's fakes his death (or does he?). I mean it's damn depressing!

Poll

Do you think Batman Movies & Games are beginning to put the 'Goth' in Gotham?

Now that depression is melded over into the video game version as well. That citizens of Gotham, I just wont take. I mean, why even play a video game so that I can be Batman if Batman is going to droll and somber? The darkness is sucking the crime fighting soul out of the Batman legend. It's just not fair people. I want to have fun when I play games and the fun I get from watching Batman punch criminals the same way every single time with a single button variation ...just...doesn't... cut it. I had more fun watching the cheesy TV show from the 60's. Some of you mellinials might not know what I am talking about, and while I can empathize with your feelings on keeping Batman dark and brooding because its all you know, but let me tell you that Batman might have been cheesy in the 60's but damn it, he was AWESOME! They pulled this shit straight out of the pages of the comic's, hired Adam West to play the roll, and filled enemies not only with bruise's and wit but "BAM!"'s and "ZING"'s to boot. From poison repellent underwear, the Batboat, and goofy bombs - the 60's Batman brought the childhood fun of reading comic books into that small space where the fun loving child hides within Adults as well. It still resonates today, and if you don't believe me then put on your silk cape, utility belt, and press the secret button to open the fun portion of that brain of yours and lets get into this!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Batman's Entrance's Are Boring Damn it!

I would be depressed to if I spent this much time opening air duct's just to get punched repeatedly in order to feel I was making a difference.
I would be depressed to if I spent this much time opening air duct's just to get punched repeatedly in order to feel I was making a difference.

The truth is I just seriously doubt every time Batman needs to get into a room he's using the heating ducts. I am sorry, and I do know that it's a video game but the insane amount of time I spent crawling through air conditioning diminished the other times I spent blowing up walls or swooping in on my enemy from above. I would fly through the city right? Soaring around, listening for crime, and being a badass. Then it would hit me, "When I get to where my objective is I bet I will have to remove a fucking air duct to get inside" and that would most certainly kill my buzz to be honest. I mean, you are supposed to be Batman. While the air ducks should be an option within the gaming universe, there should also be extreme variation on how each task is tackled. Especially with the open world type of feel in Arkham Origins. I just could no get over the amount of times one of the most badass and creative detectives and tacticians in the DC universe (Hell, comic book universe) is reduced to choosing a duck walk through a noisy maze of metallic tunnels over throwing in a gas bomb.... or hell, try scaling a building every once in a while.

This is 60's television trying it's best...
This is 60's television trying it's best...

I know it's cheesy folks I really do, but you have to admit it would be fun to scale a building like this for like a mini game of infiltration. Hell, even having a mini-game like this inside a badass 2010's Adam West voiced game would be hilarious and fun each time. But the thing is it's not the only trick in Batman 66's arsenal, be aware of that! I just think it would be fun. Don't get me wrong it is truly fun to fly around the city of Gotham, grappling from building to building.... but you can't tell me with a straight face that it would NOT be fun to take the Bat-cycle, Bat-mobile, or hell even the Bat-copter.

Buckle up Robin, I dont want to have to get another
Buckle up Robin, I dont want to have to get another

To me anything is better than opening a fucking air duct every 20 minutes, and then just sort of show up. I would rather Adam West walk through the front door of the bad guys hideout dressed in a suit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Get to Be a Badass with Flavor

The Flavor of an Ascot is 24 karot gold btw...
The Flavor of an Ascot is 24 karot gold btw...

The Batman games center around being the exclusively Bruce Wayne dressed up in the Batsuit. I have also learned that in the new game Archkam Knight Batman will spend some time in the badass Nolan'esque Batmobile. Humming around the streets of Gotham, popping out, flying around, kicking ass, then eventually doing a back-flip into its seat and continuing on his way. Now I do agree that that sounds awesome as hell and I will probably end up buying the damn thing, but that does not change the fact that there are sometimes when I want to just be Bruce Wayne too. Do I want to be Noalns Bruce? No (Check that, I would like to be on a boat with a shit ton of Russian Ballet dancers) Do I want to be Clooney or Keaton? No, I want to be Adam "How's this blazer look, I got it yesterday?" West's version of the playboy billionaire. I want to tool around, getting clues while in society as well as out. I know they say you can't have all you want but damn it if they cut down on some of the brooding darkness of the other games then maybe the folks who figure these things out could bring out a different side of the Batman we know and love. I know that it may seem trivial, but I really believe there is an audience out there who would like some mystery other than puzzles and mazes they could solve by just choosing the right dialogue, or even gathering the evidence and doing like a "Clue" situation where it all has to line up before you can dawn the cape and cowl. I mean yeah, I guess what they have now is great and all if your I.T./Researcher/Tea Maker are all the same guy, but for fuck sake isn't he running Alfred a little ragged in the game? "Do this, synthesize that, rescue me here, call the cops there." He has to do all of that and still answer the door, talk about a servant. The guy is supposed to answer the door and get drinks, but instead Alfred has to hire out others to do that while he monitors his charge's night activities. That kind of sleeping habit has to be rough on an old man.

In the last film it drove him both senile, and to France
In the last film it drove him both senile, and to France

I mean sure, we could pick it up a bit from the show. It of course doesn't have to be all dialogue. I just think it would be fun to normalize the Bat in one way so as to accentuate a fun pace of game-play. One where you solve the crime using gadgets that you create by combination after finding parts in the world, or even where you get a mission and choose which one to take along, because you can only fit so much in a double breasted suit. Deal with regular street crime on a whim but make it so in order to go after a main villain you have to compile evidence.... etc... etc. It just seems much more fun than punching and dodging my way to a liner conclusion when there are many other roads to take to the same destination of locked up criminal mastermind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Villain's vs. Batman's Genius

Seems like the only Tattoo worth getting, really...
Seems like the only Tattoo worth getting, really...

What I really love about Batman is that he always finds a way out. It doesn't matter what you hit him with he will either adapt or scurry away in a strategic retreat back to his Batcave so that he can invent a revolutionary gadget that took out whatever it was that sent him running. You come at him with a fist, he pulls out a Baterang and takes you out. You come at him with a knife, he swings to the side and drops a smoke pellet and disarms you. You come at him with sharks... well he just grabs his trusty Shark Repellent and comes at you as fearless as he was before. At least now he doesn't have to kill a shark just to give a much deserved beating to a villain, and he will do it too.... then keep that shit put up for later use just in case someone else has a similar idea in the uncertain and ever changing world of the Batverse.

I sort of wish one read Aquaman....
I sort of wish one read Aquaman....

His ingenuity is seamless and ever evolving, much like the villains that battle Batman incessantly for either world power, money, or just plain trying to murder the dark knight. I know that most of the games sort of ride of the scary/ugly rail when it come to villains. While that is a way to take it... I think having some super goofy but terrifyingly diabolical villains would be much more fun. One of the greatest villains is the Joker in the new Nolan-esque Batverse, and the same is also true for the comics. While that duality is available, the old 1966 TV show had most of the villains pretty equal in their diabolical-abilities and sort of played off of that with the formed "United Underworld". They were cartoony and goofy for sure but it was fun to see them all huddled around trying to find the best way to kill the Batman. Playing off one another, working together but not in a dark foreboding serious sort of way. Instead they came at it like they were all really playing a game of diabolical Jenga where each would pull a piece in an attempt to silence the Batman and before long it would sort of all crumble. They weren't bad plans. though goofy 1960's craziness straight out of a 50's Batman comic, they just had to contend with Adam West's Batman figuring it out and then creating some special gadget that aided in the thwarting of said plan. He would also punch his way to and from the clues.

"Ill kick your ass so bad you'll land weird!"
"Ill kick your ass so bad you'll land weird!"

I just believe it would be so much fun to have such a colorful backdrop where instead of a guy trying to act tough when in costume was replaced by a guy who was the same guy in voice and in tone just stepped it up a notch when wearing his costume. Batman in 1966 wasn't a wimp. He beat every criminal he faced by either out thinking them or out punching them, with a little bit of luck thrown in there for good measure. That's the kind of Batman I want to spend my time playing, because it just seems like it would be so much fun.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, you could say it would become cliche but isn't that half the fun in playing these games? All of it is sort of cliche, but I say why not have it be fun at the same time. Address the Cliche head on and make friends with it, learn its secrets and what makes it fun, and then pull a Adam West Batman by creating something that's not only fun, but entertaining in both nostalgia and parody. Bring the character of Batman doing impossible things back into the light and not be so damn serious all the time! That's all I ask....... but I understand if no one agrees with me, because sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb.

Thanks for reading!

Poll

What do you think, should there be a Batman '66 Video Game?

Follow BJ on Twitter

Find BJ on Facebook

Trending

Latest from our Creators