(Note, a potentially childhood-memory altering theory lies below - relating to both Jurassic World and the whole Jurassic Park series. Read on at your own risk...)
Now, I'm assuming you've already seen the brand new Jurassic World trailer - because yes, that's now a thing that we can watch, and it's predictably awesome.
The thing is, though, that trailer isn't just a giant pile of dinosaur-filled awesomeness - it's also our first proper look at exactly what to expect from Jurassic World. And that first look just happened to get all of us here at Moviepilot thinking.
And, as it turns out...
Jurassic World Might Just be Hiding a Dark and Dangerous Secret
Way back in May, Cracked released an installment of their awesome After Hours web series dedicated to the horrifying implications of Jurassic Park.
Now, in between some pretty astute observations about time travel, dinosaur aging and just who killed all those people on that boat in The Lost World, they also briefly discuss the fact that InGen, the company founded by John Hammond, and that both owns Jurassic Park and creates the dinosaurs within it, seems to have some distinctly dastardly motives.
Or, at the very least, InGen holds the key to some incredibly powerful scientific breakthroughs, and is only using that power to create a theme park.
You can potentially write those off, though, as being just the side effects of John Hammond being kind of an eccentric old dude.
It's a little bit of a stretch - I mean, what would stop you from using your scientific magic to, say, clone people, too - but within the logic of the movie, it kind of works.
In the new movie, though, our lovable sort-of-antagonist-but-not-really is long gone, and...
John Hammond Has Been Replaced by a New (and Sketchy) Corporation
That company, The Masrani Corporation, has taken over InGen, and is headed up by the somewhat suspiciously super-villain-seeming Simon Masrani, a.k.a. Irrfan Khan (above).
Now, here's the thing. From what we can tell from leaked information, and especially from the trailer, Jurassic World is set to be centered around a large, devastatingly powerful genetically modified dinosaur called a D-Rex.
That dinosaur, it seems, has been genetically modified from the constituent elements of other creatures with the precise purpose of...what, exactly?
Either the creature's existence suggests that people have grown tired of your regular old T-Rex's, and the Masrani Corporation has decided to make their dinosaurs a little more exciting/potentially homicidal, or something a little fishy is going on...
The Dinosaurs are Basically Superweapons
Whether they realize it or not, the company is now in the business of making dinosaurs that are intentionally dinosaur super-weapons.
As Bryce Dallas Howard's character points out, they've just spent ten years making their first "genetically modified hybrid."
And, as Chris Pratt points out:
"You just went and made a new dinosaur? Probably not a good idea."
After all, if you're just a zoo, why would you need an even deadlier dinosaur to display? People have been happy looking at tigers and bears for centuries, and from the looks of things, Jurassic World is doing just fine in terms of visitors...
The answer, it seems, lies in Cracked's original suggestion: You wouldn't.
The Masrani Corporation is Making Dinosaur Bioweapons
Take a look at the trailer again...
Chris Pratt, who works at the park as a specialist dinosaur trainer, seems to know nothing about this brand new dinosaur they've been developing. Which suggests that it's a closely kept secret.
Which, as he puts it, will "kill anything that moves."
And you know what that suggests?
The Masrani Corporation isn't making dinosaurs to show to kids at a theme park.
They're making dinosaurs to use as weapons.
It seems as though InGen, John Hammond's presumably noble-intentioned dinosaur theme park and cloning company, has been bought by a company that has a very different set of ideals.
Chris Pratt's Character is Taming Velociraptors
And, from the looks of things, doing a pretty damn good job of it, too.
The thing is, much like the creation of the D-Rex, there's only one logical reason why you would want to tame velociraptors. After all, they really don't make great pets.
They do, though, make excellent killing machines. Chris Pratt's character just doesn't seem to know that's what he's training them to be.
So, that dark secret at the heart of Jurassic World?
Jurassic World is Just a Cover for a Bioweapons Company...
I mean, we've got...
- A genetically modified dinosaur killing machine.
- A team of highly-trained, semi-tame velociraptors.
- A shady corporation with shadowy motives.
- A long term program of genetic modification of dinosaurs.
and, most of all...
- A dinosaur theme park that doesn't provide any particular reason for those things to exist.
Which suggests...what exactly?
Well, from the looks of it, we're entering into Alien territory, here. Specifically, the arena of sci-fi action where you really can't trust the big corporation that's funding the heroes. The only big difference? This time it's the Masrani Corporation, rather than the Weyland-Yutani Corporation.
...Which is Presumably Partly Funded by the Government
The creepiest part? The Masrani Corporation would have to be working with (some sort of) government, at least to some degree. After all - they've been allowed to reopen, and to function as a presumably global company, despite their basic product having once destroyed a large chunk of a US city, back in The Lost World.
Which suggests that any dark secret plans most likely date back to The Lost World, at the very latest - and explain how all those guys got killed on that freighter at the end of that movie, despite the T-Rex having had no way to do it.
Someone on the boat had a vested interest in proving how lethal dinosaurs can be...
The theme park itself, then is presumably just a cover - or a source of funding to support their overall aim. Just like an oil company founding a nature preserve to distract from their environmental impact...
And you know what that means?
Chris Pratt's Going to Have One Hell of a Fight On His Hands
And, in the future, we might just see actual super-weaponized dinosaurs.
Just like the ones that were originally planned to appear in Jurassic World...
The big question, though: What do you guys think?
Are the Masrani Corporation secretly a bioweapons company, making weaponized dinosaurs?