ByCatrina Dennis, writer at Creators.co
Host, Reporter, Podcast Queen | @ohcatrina on twitter/fb/insta | ohcatrina.com
Catrina Dennis

Black Friday what!? I spent my morning sitting in front of my computer, salivating over the teaser for [Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens](movie:711158), over and over again. I couldn't be more excited! When the prequels came out, we knew most of the characters already and had a general idea of what was going to happen; with these new films, we have no clue. Isn't that awesome!? In case you missed it:

So, after watching this teaser 70-someodd times this morning, I've decided to break down everything we've seen so far and compare it to the mountains of spoilers that we've been given by sites all over the internet. Here's what I found:

The Opening Shot

John Boyega in The Force Awakens
John Boyega in The Force Awakens

If you've been following my stories thus far, you'll know that one rumor is proven true right off the bat: that John Boyega is playing a Stormtrooper (and in case you've forgotten, clones were phased out in favor of citizen recruits after the Clone Wars, because clones had accelerated lifespans and died out around that time. Remember how Luke wanted to join the Imperial Academy, folks?), and he ends up stranded in the desert. We don't see his ship or what happened, but he definitely looks lost. He's supposed to be rescued by Daisy Ridley's character, who works as a junker on a desert planet. That's one rumor down - much more to go.

The Rollerdroid and the Podracer Parts?!

We're introduced to a brand new droid that looks like what might happen if R2-D2 and Eve from WALL-E had a baby. For a while now, the folks at Making Star Wars have been reporting on this little droid - according to them, this droid has a ton of room for hidden weapons and mechanisms inside. Sounds like a nice little portable defense for our heroes, and a great way to store plans for the new Alliance!

What's more - anyone notice that old podracer-like engine sitting behind the droid? If this isn't Tatooine, it's definitely a planet that used to host a major podracing event...

The Heroine

Alongside John Boyega, Daisy Ridley's character has a huge main role in the film. Here, we see her on a pretty beaten-down speeder, heading toward what many of us know as the "TMZ set", which harkens back to TMZ's release of several photos from this particular scene.

Ridley's character is supposed to be a junker working on an outer rim planet, who stumbles across a lightsaber one day. A junker who later befriends a stormtrooper - and both of them are force-sensitive. Hmm... sounds a lot like Ania Solo to me! I feel like what we'll see in Ridley's character will be a mix of Ania and Jaina Solo.

I mean... come on:

COME ON.
COME ON.

Planet-wise, I'm assuming this is either Tatooine or Lothal - the imperials could have totaled what little vegetation was left on Lothal (seen in Star Wars Rebels) and made it desolate, but for continuity's sake, I feel like our new heroine may begin her adventure on Tatooine.

Rebel Pilots and X-WINGs!

The next generation of the Rogue Squadron has arrived, and they've got some sexy new gear. Sounds like that 'Red' theme carried over, so what I'm hoping to see are factions throughout the Rebel Alliance - with 'red' pilots being the most advanced. Here, we have Oscar Isaac actually mimicking the prep movements that Luke made as he rode towards the Death Star in A New Hope. So cool! It's been said that he pilots the Millenium Falcon as well, so he could be a major player in the Alliance as we know it. Do we have our new "main trio" now?

We can see some definite mods to the X-wings - and not just when it comes to paint jobs. It looks like these guys are either headed to the Greenham Common rebel base set, or the Skellig Island cliffside set.

Stormtroopers

Our first clear looks at the new Stormtrooper armor has confirmed the previous designs released by sites like IndieRevolver. It looks a lot like these Stormtroopers are doing a night raid - but where? Some rumors have it that they raid the area where Daisy Ridley is, killing all of her friends, which mirrors the experiences of both Anakin and Luke Skywalker. My theory that Ridley's the next in the Skywalker line is riding pretty strong, if I do say so myself!

One more thing - the stormtrooper that's directly in focus seems a little off, don't they? With what's very obviously a moisture tower and sand directly in front of them, could this be the mission that traps John Boyega's character in the desert, or will he get stuck there after crash-landing?

The Villain

A few months back, IndieRevolver confirmed the existence of this lightsaber concept and it's owner - a Sith with a Darth Revan-style mask. Given the lanky, tall build of this guy, I'm gonna go ahead and take a guess at this being Adam Driver's character. Driver's been rumored as the bad guy for a while, and I'm pretty sure that the leaked photos of him as a rebel pilot are a sign of our villain going under-cover, possibly alongside Gwendoline Christie's character, to infiltrate the Rebels.

For context, here's the blurry concept we were given a few months ago:

The Narrator

There's a lot of speculation over the narrator, but here are the top four guesses I've run across so far: Benedict Cumberbatch, Max Von Sydow, Andy Serkis, and Peter Serafinowicz.

Cumberbatch is a long shot, since he's not confirmed for cast, but the rumors have flown pretty strongly with this one. Max Von Sydow, though, is rumored to play an off-kilter, half-cyborg denizen of the planet that Ridley's character lives on, and is a crucial part of the story. His character supposedly name-drops a few Clone Wars stars, and serves as a key player in getting Ridley and Boyega to either Han Solo or the new villain. Peter Serafinowicz, of course, is known best as the voice of Darth Maul from The Phantom Menace - could we see him return in some way for the new films? Then, of course, with Andy Serkis, a youthful voice and a mocap character... possibly...

We're debating this over here, so click through and jump in!

UPDATE: Several sites are now confirming that this is, indeed, Andy Serkis. Points for you, Moviepilot - I was totally wrong!

And finally... the good ol' Falcon

The Millennium Falcon shoots into the clear blue sky, then loops to send us flying upside-down over a desert planet, before moving to take out a few TIE Fighters. If that's not an incredible way to end a trailer, I don't know what is. My heart practically sprung out of my chest when the Falcon showed up - you can definitely see that it's actually been washed, and the new satellite has been added on. While this seems like a CGI model of the Falcon, several real-life models were made for the film, so don't worry too much about that right now.

A lot of people seem to be upset that we're not shown the original trio of Luke, Han, and Leia, but I personally feel that their reveals need to be big and kept to the films. We're not likely to see much of them until we see them on the big screen, but I feel like that approach would make it all the more incredible when we finally see our golden trio again.

For a teaser, this was incredible, guys. When Jurassic World's teaser came out, it was simply the classic shot of a cup, filled with water, shaking with every ominous dino-step. This!? This is practically a trailer. Can you imagine what we're going to see when the official trailer releases?

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