This interaction between J.K. Rowling and this Harry Potter fan is exactly what I love about her as an author. With the news that Rowling is releasing new Harry Potter stories starting December 12, one of which will be about Harry's boyhood nemesis Draco Malfoy, I think it's important to remember why she's the greatest.
It all started out with a Tweet. Harmless enough! It seems crazy that one of the most famous authors in the world would even respond.
But lo and behold, not only did she respond, but she included an awesome Tumblr screenshot.
Amazing. Let's take a look at these pivotal moments in Draco's life since, according to Rowling herself, this is what his Hogwarts experience would have looked like:
Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake
The handshake that started it all, or lack thereof. Sorry, Drac', you just got stiffed by the Boy Who Lived. That's gotta hurt.
Draco Malfoy and the Better-Than-Potter’s Broomstick
While the rest of Hogwarts was concerned by that whole 'Chamber of Secrets' business, Draco kept his mind on what was really important. Nimbus 2001 > Nimbus 2000. But fastforward a year and Firebolt > Nimbus 2001. You lose again, Draco.
Draco Malfoy and Hagrid’s Bloody Chicken
Damn that bloody chicken. It's not Draco's fault he didn't see this giant eagle-horse as a threat. He ain't afraid of no stinking chicken.
Draco Malfoy and the Year His Father Would Hear About
There are some policies at Hogwarts that I would like my parents to know about too, honestly. He was turned into a freakin' ferret, people. Mom and Dad, did you know that when you're in trouble they send you into the Forbidden Forrest? What's that about?
Draco Malfoy and the Inquisitorial Squad
This was also the year Draco became a prefect, so be careful what you say around him. And keep your shirt tucked in, Weasley!
Draco Malfoy and the Vanishing Cabinet
Also known as the 'Bird Killing Cabinet,' the 'Apple Biting Cabinet,' and the 'Here Comes Your Extended Family Cabinet.' We could also name this year 'Draco Malfoy and the Extreme Papercut Curse.' Just a thought.
Draco Malfoy and the Year He Realized He Has Been a Douchebag
Maybe it was Voldemort's weird hug, but this is the Malfoy family's "oh shit" moment. Like, "Oh shit, we've been dealing with a psychopath all these years. Supes awkward. My bad."
Since I pretty much have Harry Potter's version memorized, I'd be down to read a bit more of Draco's story. Luckily, we don't have to wait much longer to hear more about our favorite bouncing ferret.