Horror is definitely one of the greatest genres of film. That being said, it's also known for having an extremely diverse range in regards to both content and quality. That, combined with the fact that the 80s were just a straight up terrifying time for movies (Seriously, was every person who produced these on an acid trip?), means that some of the horror movies released are straight up terrible.
For the sake of this article, and my sanity since I don't have the attention span to watch all of these movies, we're just going to do a quick rundown of some of the weirdest trailers!
1.) Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)
This is just a lot of biting and some random shooting sequences. And then there's the moment at 1:27 that shows the exact reason of why I'm afraid to wear contact lenses.
2.) Evil Speak (1981)
Probably the most shocking thing about this trailer is seeing a young Clint Howard. This is seconded by the fact that the main villain here is a murderous, satanic computer program.
3.) Raw Force (1982)
Zombies ninjas, hot lady in a bikini, butt rubbing, and movie trailer voiceover man? This one really had something for everyone.
4.) Killing Satan (1983)
This one is my favorite. And while it's not technically a trailer, this is some of the best marketing material I've ever seen. I'm already committed to getting my hands on this movie and seeing why the man at 0:47 felt the need to throw himself in front of that boulder.
5.) Splatter University (1984)
So...do you pay tuition to go to Splatter University? What kind of clubs and extracurricular activities do they offer? If they could offer me a substantial scholarship I'm not totally opposed. I do look great in red.
6.) The Dungeonmaster (1985)
I really can't even tell you what's going on in this trailer. It's some pretty vague description until 0:48 where a giant statue comes to life. Then some character named Ratspit is there looking snarly. I have no idea.
7.) TerrorVision (1986)
So this dad's satellite TV spawned a monster alien thing? This isn't really my thing, but he's into metal so it's cool! Right?
8.) Dolls (1987)
And this is why dolls should never, under any circumstances, be trusted. Especially ones made by a mysterious older gentleman who laughs maniacally when witchcraft is brought up. Yeesh.
9.) Slugs (1988)
So don't go into the basement, pipes, or sewers but MY GOD don't you DARE make out when your parents aren't home, you 30-year-old "teenagers."
10.) Elves (1989)
Obviously this needs to become a holiday tradition in my house. Decorate the tree, drink some eggnog, watch a movie about murderous elves who want to mate with a virgin and conquer the world. You know, the classics.
Man, the 80s sure were a crazy time and it definitely reflected in their horror movies.
Whether or not it was intentional, these movies look so bad they're almost good. And since I have a love of all things bad-good, I'll probably watch a few of them over the course of the weekend! But, like I said, I haven't actually sat down to watch these yet. So, if you have had a chance to see any of them, please let me know what you thought in the comments section!
For even more of these strange and dated horror movie trailers, check out Paper Magazine's list of 40 Awesomely Weird 1980s Horror Movie Trailers.