ByTré Roland-Martin, writer at
This is a MP blog where I state my opinions on upcoming movies and give predictions, review canceled projects, and talk about bad movies.
Tré Roland-Martin

In China, people began making very unusual, unlicensed backpacks that have mash-ups. The most well-known out of these is the infamous Harry Potter/Obama/Sonic the Hedgehog backpack. Other examples include the House M.D. inspired Pikachu backpack with the Apple logo, the head of Prodigy member Kieth Flint, and the logo for Qauke III: The Arena, the Batman backpack with only Superman on it, and finally the Shrek 2 backpack with the Incredible Hulk on it.

However, if you want the worst example of a really bad bootleg mash-up backpack, you get the Spider-Man one with characters from the Pixar movie Cars on it! Well, Marvel Comics and Pixar are indeed both owned by Disney, but a mash-up like this (or mish-mash, if you will) is totally out-of-place and absurd!

To describe my reaction/rant to it, I'm going to mash-up some lyrical snippets from Captain Beefheart's 1969 magnum opus Trout Mask Replica. Here we go:

My spirit’s made up of the ocean
And the sky ‘n’ the sun ‘n’ the moon
‘n’ all my eyes can see
my hobby girls
Hand full uh worms and uh pole fishin’
Cork bobbin’ like uh hot red bulb
‘n uh blue jay squeaks
With two fingers on their hands
Beggin’ the Lord don’t let the third one land
On World War Three
On World War Three
Ha ha right right
Just dig it
That’s right “The Mascara Snake”
Fast ‘n bulbous
Tight also
With his lil’ pistol showin’
‘n his lil’ pistol totin’
Well that goes t’ show you what uh moon can do
No more bridge from Tuesday t’ Friday
Everybody’s gone high society
She looks like an old squaw indian
she’s 99 she won’t go down
Avocado green ‘n alfalfa yellow adorn her t’ the ground
Tatooes ‘n tarnished utenzles uh snow white bag full o’ tunes
O’ lady look up in time o’ lady look out of love
‘n you should have us all
O’ you should have us fall
With the sunset written on it
‘n the shadow of uh tree
Curled around yuh knee in color
n’ just behind yuh was the sea of negativity
Tinklin’ like mercury in the wind
‘n cists rancid buds burst
Dank drum ‘n dung dust
Meate rose ‘n hairs
Meaty meate rose ‘n hairs
Meaty dream wet meate
Limp damp rows
Peeled ‘n felt fields ‘n belts
With uh’ little red box
'n I used to have m’ pig go with me
We walked for blocks
I don’t wanna kill my china pig
With yer jaw hangin’ slack n’ yer hair’s curlin’
Like an ole navy fork stickin’ in the sunset
The way you were dancin’ I knew you’d never come back
You were strainin’ t’ keep yer
Old black cracked patent shoes
Out enjoying the sun while sitting on a turned on waffle iron
Smoke billowing up from between her legs
Made me vomit beautifully
And crush a chandelier
Fall on my stomach ‘n view her
From a thousand happened facets
Liquid red salt ran over crystals
I sensed the thickest silence scream
Then I begin t’ dream
My mind cracked like custard
Ran red until it sealed
Turn t’ wooden ‘n rolled like uh wheel well well
With uh drooped body
I’ll set up with yuh Big Joan
I’m too fat t’ go out
In the daylight
I’ll stay up all night
I won’t droop if you
Won’t talk about your
Hands bein’ too small
Rockette Morton takes off again into the wind!
Sugar ‘n spikes ‘n everything nice ‘n everything nice ‘n crazy
That’s what little worlds are made of lady
I’m paid up in home in ‘m new Friday’s house
There’s no H on my faucet there’s no bed for m’ mouse
Uhuru ant man bee uhuru ant man bee
Now the bee takes his honey then he sets the flower free
But in God’s garden only
I was shanghaied by uh high hat beaver moustache man
‘n his pirate friend
I woke up in vomit ‘n beer in uh banana bin
‘n uh soft lass with brown skin
I’m goin’ up on the mountain fo’ the rest uh m’ life
‘fore they take m’ life
‘fore they take m’ wild life
‘fore they take m’ wife
They got m’ mother ‘n father
‘n run down all my kin
Here we have a famous version of "She's Too Much for My Mirror";
note the clever slate

Strawwood claw rattlin’ m’ jaw
Hobo chang ba
Hobo chang ba
Hobo chang ba ‘o
The mother ship the mother ship
The mother ship’s the one
The blimp the blimp
The tapes uh trip it’s uh trailin’ tail
It’s traipse’n along behind the blimp the blimp
They’re spun
They live two hundred years of love
They’re one
Breaks my heart to see them cross the sun
Grain grows rainbows up straw hill
Breaks my heart to see the highway cross the hill
The old fart inside was now breathin’ freely
From his perfume bottle atomizer air bulb invention
Son like the one who warmed me my days
After rain amd warmed my breath
My life’s blood
Screamin’ empty she cries

That's so far what I have for this article!


What are your thoughts on the Spider-Man/Cars mash-up backpack?


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