Hello there fellow Star Wars fans,
My name is Harley, and I have loved Star Wars since I was a wee child, maybe a few years younger than Anakin when he was Pod Racing still. I have watched every movie... I have seen every tattoo, poster, painting, script writing from not only fan fiction, but Creators of the Universe we hold so dearly to our Forceful Hearts. I remember begging my mother for weeks when Star Wars Episode III Revenge Of The Sith came out, to take me to see the movie when it came out May 17, 2005. It was about two months after my fifteenth birthday and I was finally allowed to see ''Big Kid'' movies by myself. At this time it was May 19th by the time it came to my little town, but in the Drive-In Theater, I waited through two hours of this horrifyingly boring movie Monster-In-Law (didn't start to like it until I had my own in-laws).
It was a cold day on May 17, all bundled up in my black snow suit (Black, obvious reasons) and had my Darth Vader mask on with my full action Light Saber (Which I still have to this day). I sat there in the back seat of my moms Grand Prix my popcorn bucket with the Storm Troopers helmet and my straw with Anakin hanging off the side, and waited for the movie to start, and that's where it began. Ten years later, it grew and grew into something that became a part of my everyday life. Something I kept with me every day to remind myself that there was order, and that there was a balance to be kept. This is when my Sith Medallion found it's permanent spot on my left shoulder, and my Jedi Medallion on my right, always reminding my of the balance in the order we must all keep. When things got rough, and I needed a gentle hand, I would use my Jedi arm for that, as I had a tattoo with the words JEDI imprinted on my left wrist, and the words SITH imprinted on my right wrist for when I needed a stern hand. From there my obsession grew into a love of everything I could use the Star Wars Universe for. I brought it into my everyday life, I even use it at work to keep me collected and one with myself when things get hard. And things did get hard...
When I turned nineteen, I lost my husband due to heart failure, he was born with a hole in his heart. So I moved back to Canada to be with my family, who at the time I did not know they were suffering with Cancer themselves. I came into my mothers home, and became depressed, I wouldn't eat. I wouldn't drink. All I did was sit in my room in the dark, and played all six movies over and over and over again until I knew every line, and every heart break like the back of my hand. When the movies became worn, my mother bought me the first original set of the Star Wars Universe stories. And I began to read, and I learned so much more in depth about the struggles Anakin faced, about the heart breaking decision Padme had to make. About the courage it took, for a boy to become a man in his own right. With these books, with this new knowledge I gained. I was able to pull myself out of my darkness, with very minimal issues.
I had become slightly suicidal, in the mindset that I wanted to be with my husband, that Star Wars couldn't keep me on my feet by itself anymore. In this mindset, I had cut my left arm three times trying to open my skin enough to bleed out before anyone would notice. In this moment, I was lost to everything, even the Dark side where I had found comfort once before. I watched as the blood trickled down my left arm and hit the floor in little spots, forming a pool and my heart skipped a beat. A voice in my head screamed " DO OR DO NOT. THERE IS NO TRY."
Over and Over again it screamed to me, forcing me on my feet, forcing me to gather myself and tie off my arm before anymore blood loss happened. I ran downstairs to my mothers arms, and when I awoke, I was in the hospital with stitches down my arm in three straight lines. When I awoke with bandages wrapped around my wrist, and my hands handcuffed to the bed to prevent further harm to myself, this was the day my life delved into Star Wars. That like God for Christians, I had given myself to the Force that be. Two months later, once it was healed over. Because of the strength of the voice in my mind, I now have one secret I keep hidden from the world. But now you all know, my left arm has a tattoo, with the original scripting of STAR WARS in black and yellow, covering up the scars of yesteryear. Reminding me.
Do or do not. There is no try. - Yoda
Thank you for listening to my story, I feel like a great weight has lifted from my shoulders. This was a beautiful moment for me, and I hope I made it beautiful for you too.
Cest La Vie.
And I know the tattoo isn't beautifully stunning, I do apologize. It was done in a hurry, and is being taken care of and touched up.