ByRand Benjamin Einfeldt, writer at
I'm a Fan Theorist. I give ridiculous predictions for movies and TV shows. I'd like to call them "Ridictable Theories"!
Rand Benjamin Einfeldt

After watching A Christmas Story for the umpteenth time, something caught my “eye” that I didn’t realize from that popular Christmas movie. Now we all know that A Christmas Story is about a young boy named Ralphie whose ultimate goal is to get an ”official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle” for Christmas! And we all know that throughout the movie he was always reminded that if he had that toy in his possession he would “… shoot his eye out!”

What if I told you that this particular memorable phrase was foreshadowing Ralphie’s ultimate demise in another movie?

Now I have a question for you all. What is another movie that has someone getting their eye shot out and who is also wearing a bunny costume? Yep… you guessed it. Frank from Donnie Darko!

My theory is that Ralph and Frank are the same person. Now I know what you are all probably thinking, “There are a lot of holes in this theory.” But I have found “loopholes” to support it.

1- The Time Period is Off

I am aware that A Christmas Story is taking place in the 1940’s during Christmas and Donnie Darko is taking place in October 22, 1988. I will explain that in detail later. This would mean that Ralphie is between the ages of 46-48 when he is Frank in Donnie Darko. Again I’ll get to that later.

2- The Name Isn’t the Same

I am also aware that the names are different, so I wanted to find out what the name of Ralphie’s father was. To my surprise, he was not given a name in the movie. He was always called “The Old Man” or “Mr. Parker”. With that being said, his name could be anything, but that isn’t the point. The point is that the father’s name could very well have been “Frank Parker”, and if that be his name(knowing the time frame of the story), The Old Man could’ve named his first son Franklin Ralph Parker Jr. Since Ralphie had kind of a delicate relationship with his dad, he didn’t want to go by Frank, or Franklin for that matter, instead he chose to go be his middle name Ralphie! It wasn’t until he was given that gun for Christmas that he was able to connect with his dad more to embrace his real name as Frank! This would make sense because when Donnie asks Frank “Why do they call you Frank?” Frank then responds, “It was the name of my father, (smirks) and his father before me.”

3- But Ralphie and Frank Look Completely Different

Yes, Ralphie is wearing glasses for his blue eyes and has short blonde hair and Frank is not wearing glasses for his brown eyes and has long black hair, but here is my reasoning as to why:

Normally if you’re born with blonde hair and come from a family with strong genes in dark hair, the blonde eventually fades away and becomes darker than usual. I’ve seen it happen before.

Now with the glasses, Ralphie decided to get contacts when he got older. I know what you’re thinking, “Wait… contacts weren’t invented in the 1940’s!” Oh contraire… they were! In fact they were invented in 1948! That solves that mystery!

To go along with the eye colors, colored eye contacts were invented in 1987. A year before Frank met up with Donnie Darko!

To wrap up, I would like to explain how Ralphie eventually became Frank. Franklin Ralph Parker Jr. AKA Ralphie was born October 22, 1942. He got a toy rifle for Christmas in 1948 when he was 8 years old. After shooting is eye out, he broke his glasses by accidentally stepping on them. Ralphie’s mother told him he would have to wear his old broken glasses until they got new ones.

During that same year, plastic contact lens we invented. At that time period Ralphie was one of those kids who didn’t want to be called “four-eyes” for the rest of his life, so he took this opportunity to purchase contacts. But with little money, he decides to sell the bunny rabbit suit, he got from his aunt. Sadly Ralphie’s mother wouldn’t let him, instead the mother sold the toy gun to get him a pair of contacts. This didn’t sit too well with Ralphie growing up. Over the years he has been wanting to get his toy rifle back, but wasn’t able to because all of the guns were sold out by then.

He then meets up with a lady named Roberta Sparrow who tells him about time travel. This intrigues him to want to use it to go back in time to change the past so that he can keep his rifle for nostalgic purposes.

Due to his hatred towards his mother making him wear the bunny costume, Ralphie grows his hair out and decides to give the bunny costume a new dark makeover, complete with a sinister bunny mask! Oh the irony!

Once Ralphie figures out how to time travel, he accidentally goes to the future in 1988(where he gets colored contact lens to hide his identity) instead of the past, where he first meets up with Donnie and ends up being, quite literally, in the wrong place at the wrong time. The true irony kicks in when Ralphie AKA Frank get’s his eye shot out.


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