SPOILER ALERT! If you do not want the to know what CNN intends to play at the end of the world, I suggest you read no further.
When the world does eventually end, can I suggest we don't spend our final moments as a species watching television? If, for some reason, you are insistent about seeing out the apocalypse while plonked in front of the goggle-box, then can I make another suggestion. Don't watch CNN.
You see, CNN actually has a video prepared for the destruction of our species and/or planet, and although it's slightly moving, it's not exactly going out with a bang.
Thirty-four years ago, the slightly eccentric founder of the Cable News Network, Ted Turner, claimed CNN would remain on the air indefinitely, stating, "Barring satellite problems, we won't be signing off until the world ends." He added:
We'll be on, and we will cover the end of the world, live, and that will be our last event. We'll play the National Anthem only one time, on the first of June [the day CNN launched], and when the end of the world comes, we'll play 'Nearer My God To Thee' before we sign off.
When he said it, people kind of shuffled nervously in their seats and did a little laugh because they weren't quite sure if this guy was for real. Well, he was, and CNN even have the video to prove it.
Below is the recently released CNN apocalypse video, which is titled TURNER DOOMSDAY VIDEO on CNN's MIRA archive. Imagine watching this while the zombies, aliens and/or irradiated Communists are clawing at your door.
That's right. No pictures of puppies frolicking in tall grass, no images of the grand achievements of man, there's not even any 3D text whooshing at the screen. Instead we would all be treated to the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine bands forlornly playing Nearer My God To Thee (the song which famously played as the Titanic plunged under the Atlantic), and in a 4:3 ratio no less.
No one's really quite sure what the mechanism for playing the video would be. Whether CNN would wait until the minute before the asteroids strike, or whether it would simply be used to play out their live 'Armageddon Spectacular.' However, the former intern who leaked the footage, did include a screenshot of the archive system on which the Doomsday video resides. It does claim the video should be "HFR (Held for release) till end of the world confirmed."
Where does this 'confirmation' come from? Well, I'm not sure. But a plague of locusts and/or a press conference with the Four Horsemen would probably be sufficient.
What do you think? Is this a fitting end to 200,000 years of human evolution, or did you expect something flashier?
What would you like to see at the end of the world?