ByJancy Richardson, writer at
To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...It's only a movie...'
Jancy Richardson

OK, so going to a festival is awesome, but we all know that movies tend to lie to us about the reality of the thing. A field full of a teenagers, metalheads and randoms crammed into giant crowds fueled by beer, excitement, and probably less legal substances... what could possibly go wrong?

Take a second to LOL at the movie image vs. reality of festival life...

Movie Festivals: Epic Music

The sweet sounds of intense riffs, live feedback and raw energy! Yeah!

Real Life Festivals: This Music

Crushed by the crowd, you get stuck listening to a bunch of tone-deaf losers, probably while mashed into the sweaty armpit of the hairy dude next to you.

Movie Festivals: Lovely Camping

The great outdoors! The magic of being with people you love under a vast canopy of stars, getting close to nature!

Real Life Festivals: Actual Camping

A rancid wasteland of trash, take-out cartons, crushed beer cans and... OH GOD, what even IS that?

Movie Festivals: Half-Naked Babes

The free and easy spirit of the festival makes everyone cut back and get loose, hopefully culminating in hot girls mud-wrestling in bikinis!

Real Life Festivals: Half Naked THIS GUY

The only people who take their clothes off in public are people you wish with all your heart would keep their damn clothes ON. This is a fact of life.

Movie Festivals: Awesome People

One of the magical things about the festival atmosphere is how open everyone is - just people getting together to have a good time, party hard, and kick back.

Real Life Festivals: These People

You will undoubtedly be accosted by Adult Baby, Booze-a-Tron, and Banana, and it will be just as much NOT FUN as it sounds.

Movie Festivals: Delicious Food

Get that grill grillin' and tuck in to some amazing grub al fresco - food has never tasted so good!

Real Life Festivals: You call this food?

An unbelievably foul glop of fast food that you'll have to pay at least $12 for the privilege of forcing down. Or, y'know, you pass out drunk and it ends up on your face.

Movie Festivals: Refreshing Drinks

There's no greater pleasure in life than an ice-cold brewski on a hot summer's day...

Real Life Festivals: Warm Drinks

Sadly, the only way you can afford festival booze is to smuggle it in your wellies, so warm, muddy cans are the best you're getting!

Movie Festivals: A Majestic Campfire

Winding down to the soothing strains of a lone guitar around a picturesque campfire is a sure way to feel love for your fellow man.

Real Life Festivals: Just a Fire

Oh. Some jerk-off just set a whole pile of garbage on fire and now you're running for your life, hoping that nothing you own is part of the blaze.

Movie Festivals: Crowdsurfing

Rock and roll is here to stay, y'all!

Real Life Festivals: Belly flop onto concrete

Warning: spatial awareness may suffer during inebriation.

Movie Festivals: Incredible Crowds

The roar of the crowd as you go wild to your favorite song is a life-affirming experience.

Real Life Festivals: Crowds

Some of the best acts will not be appreciated by the masses, and you'll be left loyally watching your top new rap act in this depressing setting.

Movie Festivals: Romance

Maybe - just maybe - you'll lock eyes with a smoking hottie, and the time will be right and it'll be a summer to be young and free and in love (or at least lust)...

Real Life Festivals: Dream on

The closest thing to festival romance you're getting IRL is this guy's sweaty nutsack jiggling in your face. Sorry.


How have your festival experiences been?

Sources: Vice, Epic Fail


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