ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at Creators.co
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Now, when it comes to fan theories, there are a whole lot out there that seem able to completely redefine the way we look at a movie, or even an entire franchise - and a whole lot more besides that just...don't quite work.

What there aren't a whole lot of, though, are theories that are just so perfect, while also being completely impossible, that you simply can't help but fall in love with them.

This is one of those theories.

It comes from a Tumblr user going by the name Bluandorange, and their theory that...

Guardians of the Galaxy is Actually Just The Avengers Playing a Roleplaying Game

"WHAAAAAAAAT?"
"WHAAAAAAAAT?"

Yup, that's right.

It goes a little something like this...

The Avengers (along with Bucky, and the Falcon) are Playing a Space-Based, Table-Top Roleplaying Game

War Machine is clearly done with this.
War Machine is clearly done with this.

Which, seeing as they seem to love hanging out together in the movies, isn't as implausible as it seems.

Bucky's the DM (Dungeon Master)

He's been working on the story for FIFTY YEARS.
He's been working on the story for FIFTY YEARS.

Meaning he's in charge of what happens, and of getting the heroes to choose their characters.

Cap, Though, Decides to Mess With Him

Image: http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/
Image: http://bluandorange.tumblr.com/

As perfectly illustrated by Bluandorange...

So, Cap's Rocket Raccoon...

Of course.
Of course.

Because being a genetically-engineered raccoon with a gun fetish is definitely going to bug the hell out of Bucky.

Holy crap, that's totally a thing.
Holy crap, that's totally a thing.

The same way him being a technological super-genius will drive Tony Stark crazy.

Tony, Though, Plays to His Strengths...as Star-Lord

Because of course he does.
Because of course he does.

The cocky, sarcastic ladies man, who brings the team together (despite them all not liking each other all that much).

Which also totally explains why Rocket and Star-Lord spend most of the movie making fun of each other.

Black Widow, Though, Goes Outside the Box...as Drax

"Why would I be inside the box to begin with?"
"Why would I be inside the box to begin with?"

Opting for the super-strong, indestructible dude who doesn't get metaphors and is constantly on a rampage.

Somewhere in the corner of the room, reading a super-dense book, Bruce Banner is totally getting that joke.

Hawkeye, Meanwhile, is Every Guy You've Ever Played D&D With...as Gamora

Because OF COURSE.
Because OF COURSE.

Because of course he decides to be an edgy, beautiful, tough-as-nails green alien woman.

He might as well have made her a sexy elf who really likes Captain Kirk.

Thor Decides to Play Himself...and So Gets Made Into the Villain

And then plays him like he imagines his brother...
And then plays him like he imagines his brother...

I mean, why else would Ronan spend the whole movie playing with his giant hammer?

And, of course, Falcon Totally Has Cap's Back...as Groot

I...Am...Falcon...
I...Am...Falcon...

You can just imagine the look on Bucky's face as Sam turns to him and tells him he'll be playing as a giant tree that hangs around with Rocket all the time...and only ever says I am Groot. In a cheesy Vin Diesel voice.

Who then spends the entire game making perfect dice rolls, and driving Bucky up the wall.

Y'know...Just Because.

And that's how Civil War started...
And that's how Civil War started...

And...that's officially my new favorite fan theory.

Nicely played, Bluandorange. Nicely played...

What do you guys think, though?

Poll

Love the Avengers/Guardians Roleplaying Theory?

via Tumblr

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