We've seen plenty of movies that focus on the horror some animals can wreak on humanity. From Arachnophobia to Jaws to SyFy channel's full list of programming, Hollywood has made the most fearful animals even more terrifying.
But, it's about time to break from that tradition, starting with seemingly harmless creatures that turn out to be hellbeasts incarnate.
Take this charming frog, for example:
This guy starts out looking like a Hogwarts pet and ends up unleashing the voice of Satan. Get him a TV show already!
In honor of this amazing amphibian and all of the other misunderstood animals out there, here's a list of terrifying and vicious beasts that hide under an adorable facade.
This has got to be one of the cutest animals to ever grace a planet so full of ordinary creatures. YouTube has invited these adorable critters into our homes, and almost all of us have collectively squealed over this ticklish companion.
Sadly for all of us, the slow loris has a toxic bite that can cause humans to go into anaphylactic shock almost immediately. They have this strange gland under their arm that they lick, and, when that substance is mixed with saliva, can be brushed on their fur or transferred through a bite. At least one death at the hands of these adorable little assassins has been reported. So, the next time you find yourself online shopping for an exotic pet, remember that this level of cuteness comes at a price.
Okay, so this prehistoric-looking creature is definitely pushing the boundaries of "cute," but I'm sure there's a few bird lovers out there who are thrilled about the cassowary's inclusion on this list. Plus, pretty colors mean a more attractive animal; it's basic bar logic.
Well, this lovely lady is actually one of the most vicious predators you can encounter in the wild. Brutally territorially, the cassowary NEVER backs down from a fight. If you find yourself in her path—God help you—DO NOT RUN, or you will be pursued by this behemoth traveling up to 31 mph. Then, it will leap up to five feet in the air, pummeling your neck and chest and driving you into the ground. From there, it will carve you up using its talons, happily bathing in your blood as it adds a new color to its ensemble. And you will die wondering how a Velociraptor managed to escape Jurassic Park to disembowel you.
The main takeaway: avoid cassowaries at all costs.
Everyone loves dolphins. They're smiley, goofy, and ready to do a flip at a moment's notice. Unfortunately, like many highly intelligent animals, dolphins are concealing a dark side beneath their lovable laughs and and friendly demeanor.
To start, dolphins have a lot of sex, and I mean A LOT. The downside is that much of this sex is often coercive (widely deemed rape by the internet), sometimes leading to many males forming a circle around a female and taking turns while they have their way with her. Some members of scientific community actually make a very good case against using the term "rape" to refer to the dolphin's sexual behavior, BUT it can be extremely coercive and, put plainly, a terrifying sight to behold.
To make the dolphin case even worse, there are reports of dolphin dads slaughtering their own offspring as well as the babies of other species. Jeez, dolphins, can you relax? Plus, when's the last time that dolphins were portrayed negatively in a movie? After reading truly horrific reports like this, I'm wondering if that answer is going to change.
By now, the Honey Badger's reputation for being an all-around badass is well-documented. Yet, it still looks pretty precious and cuddly, just like that skunk you KNOW you shouldn't approach but maybe this time will be different, right?
Anyway, the honey badger is one of the most fearless animals around. It will assuredly take on snakes like puff adders, a species that boasts venom strong enough to melt human skin. After getting stung or bitten by a venomous creature, the honey badger will typically go down for a nap and then wake up starting right where it left off. A NAP! I
Their bravery is due in part to their thick skin, which can receive a full wallop from a machete without necessarily ripping open. The honey badger also has shockingly powerful jaws that allow it to consume all of its prey, bones included. Even the big cats, like lions and leopards, have been seen giving honey badgers ample distance, proving that they are one of the most terrifying creatures with a huggable face.
This bit of zoological news really messed me up for a while. I'm talking weeks.
The deep sea octopus mother tends to her eggs longer than any other animal in the world. She defends them from predators and aerates their sacks, all while never leaving their side—not even to eat. One species goes 53 MONTHS (that's over FOUR YEARS) doing this without ingesting any food.
When the thousands of babies finally hatch, do they throw their insanely dedicated caretaker the best mother's day party around? No! They watch her wither and die from exhaustion, and some reports claim that she even becomes their first meal.
So next time you see one of these cuties:
or some of these nubbins:
You'll be instantly reminded that they're capable of cannibalizing their ever-faithful mother. You're welcome.
Now that this comprehensive list has been compiled, when will we see a movie with slow lorises leading the most adorable revolt in history? You're right, probably never, but that doesn't mean there's not an audience for it!
How do you feel after learning about the cutest animals that would happily kill?