I love bad jokes. My editor can attest to this because I'm constantly trying to interject my horrible sense of humor into my writing and then begrudgingly deleting them before post.
(Editor's note: She's not lying. She's really, really not. - AG)
I know I'm not the only person who has someone behind them to tell them when it's too much, but it's especially great to know that the famed director James Cameron is in that camp with me.
In his 1997 blockbuster hit Titanic, Cameron nearly included this horrendous attempt at humor. Not only is this joke bad, but I don't personally think that there should be any jokes made moments before a national tragedy that claimed the lives of over 1,500 people and . Awkward.
That being said, Cameron had become a father by 1997. This might make this the ultimate cinematic dad joke.
Here we have Kathy Bates aka the "Unsinkable Molly Brown" flagging down a waiter to bring her some ice.
Undoubtedly because she came on this ship ready to *Kristen Wiig voice* par-tay with the best of them.
UMB has no idea that there's about to be a guest appearance by a freakin' iceberg. Little known fact: Icebergs are just gigantic hunks of ocean ice.
She ends up saying, "Screw the ice," and downing that drink like the badass boss she is.
Surprise, Molly! There's actually a ton of ice behind you. If you just turn around. Just a smidge. Just for a second. Get it? It's funny-ish.
Here's the full 30 seconds of dad jokiness that ended up getting cut in the final version. I guess people just couldn't SEA his vision. Enjoy it or cringe over it, your call.
Oh the irony. We get it. Shame on you, Cameron. You're better than that. The worst thing is that it wasn't even bad enough to come full circle and be good again.
Here is a list of five alternative, Kristin-approved dad jokes that I think James Cameron should be allowed to use in any of his future movies:
(Hi, editor again: I would like to point out, I definitely did not approve these jokes. I'm--I'm so sorry. -AG)
1. The Classic Dad Joke Joke
Always a crowd pleaser.
2. "Cool" Dad Joke
Honestly, I have a very similar folder on my phone.
3. Something Smells Fowl Joke
Dad, this is food we're talking about! No time for your shenanigans!
4. The Frayed Knot Joke
Oddly enough my ex-boyfriend also loved to tell this joke. Clearly "ex" for a reason.
5. Wordplay Jokes
Way to go, dads. Keep doing you or don't. Whatever.
I hope that these so-bad-they're-good dad jokes washed the taste of James Cameron's deleted dad joke out of your mouth.
What's your favorite bad joke, dad or otherwise? Let me know in the comments. This will give me a reason to laugh like an idiot at my desk and no one can get mad at me, so please send 'em over!
Did James Cameron's "more ice" joke make you laugh? Be honest.