ByDave Conley, writer at
"Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."
Dave Conley

I don't know, maybe I'm just getting cynical in my old age, or maybe I've just seen too many reboots, rehashes and real life horrors that I'm jaded. I was there before The Blair Witch Project came out and knew it was all fake. Although at the time I thought it was an original take on the horror genre and if I had bought into the completely made up mythos surrounding the story like many people had at the time, I probably wouldn't have laughed so loudly when she pointed the camera up her nose to apologize. I'm sorry, I'm just immature enough that I still find snot funny.

Despite that, and hearing other film makers with projects in the festival say things like, "What the hell was that? That wasn't a movie," I loved it and thought the film makers had done a fantastic job achieving a taut, suspenseful realism that carried the movie.

The trouble is that was over 15 years ago and the "Found Footage" gimmick has been beaten to death since then. That's Hollywood for you, though. If it makes money let's squeeze the life blood out of it. Sadly, they are still trying to milk this FF cash cow. Hey, they're cheap to make. I remember the more money Blair Witch made, the less it had originally cost to make it. That's not to say there haven't been any good ones since then and if you have any suggestions as to which ones are the best please tell me in the comments below, because that's not really what I'm here to talk about.

It's a whole new year and I'm wondering about the near future. Sadly, this year doesn't look too original for horror films, of course you could say that everything's been done and the best you could hope for is a fresh take on the familiar tried and true terror tropes, but out of the twenty or so upcoming horror films this year eight of them are sequels, three are reboots, and there are a handful of rehashes and horror/comedies. Who doesn't like a good belly laugh with their blood and guts though? But seriously folks, I want more for my entertainment dollar.


What a bloody mess!
What a bloody mess!

1. Cabin Fever - Do we really need a remake? Especially considering Eli Roth's reportedly using the exact same script as the original. Pssst Eli remember how well that worked for Psycho?

2. Poltergeist - It has been 33 years since this Tobe Hooper / Steven Spielberg classic was made, so maybe it's time for an update. Maybe Sam Raimi (who is great with flying dead people) and Director Gil Keenan can do something with this, but they will have to overcome my fond nightmares from the original.

3. Da Sweet Blood of Jesus - and you thought Spike Lee wanted to crowd fund an original vampire movie. despite having done such an awful job remaking Oldboy, Spike Lee decided to remake another movie that was meant to be a Blaxploitation film to capitalize on the success of Blackula in 1973, but even though there is blood addiction, vampires are never mentioned. Starring Duane Jones from the original Night of the Living Dead, it turned out to be much more than merely an exploitation film. It delved into the themes of lust, addiction and class. Although this Spike Lee joint hasn't gotten very good reviews, I'll give him another chance.

4. Friday the 13th - I'm really not sure if this is a sequel, a remake, a reboot, or a sequel to the rebooted remake, or just a complete waste of time and money. I'm betting on the latter. Which brings me to.

Sequels /Prequels

Resident Evil 6? Paranormal 5? Amityville: The Awakening? Insidious 3? The woman in Black 2? I'm saving my money and time. I'm not actually looking forward to any of these except maybe [REC] 4 Apocalypse (the final installment), but if you are, let me know below.

What might scare me

1. It Follows

Yes it looks like a cautionary tale about STD's. Sexually Transmitted Demons. So maybe you should wash up with some holy water after having casual sex with a stranger. I don't know if that would help, but at least this introduces the relentless, murderous stalker in a different kind of way. Even though Freddy, Jason, and Michael always went after the promiscuous ones first, this whole movie will have you wondering if she gets caught.

2. Unfriended (originally Cybernatural)

Not too sure about this one. It kind of looks like the Blair Witch signs up for Facebook. The trailer seems to show how everyone gets killed and the kid with the blender is either stupid or hilarious, so this gimmick of the movie being entirely set within a computer screen on social media and Skype could scare me into not spending so much time being an internet troll, or it could just be an overly long bad comic vine.

3. The Atticus Institute

This just looks crazy! Like a paranormal brain salad.

5. Victor Frankenstein

Yes, I know Frankenstein has been done a million times. There is even a Frankenstein vs. The Mummy movie coming out this year. This time the story is being told from Igor's perspective. I think Igor has always gotten a raw deal in the movies, but this time he's being played by Harry Potter!

Will the Dr. fix his hump?
Will the Dr. fix his hump?

6. Crimson Peak

There aren't enough good haunted house movies, so when I heard one was being made by one of my favorite directors, Guillermo del Toro, I was thrilled to death. After all, he was smart enough to do as much character development with the house as with the other characters.

7. 31

Rob Zombie definitely must have a love/hate relationship with clowns. While I hate clowns I love what he has done with them!

He's definitely upped the circus with this premise- Five people are forced to compete in a game (called 31), where the object is “kill or be killed.” They’re pitted against a gang of vile clowns known as “the heads” and given twelve hours to survive in a man-made abattoir called Murder World. -

I guess Capt. Spaulding needed help!
I guess Capt. Spaulding needed help!

If that doesn't sound like good wholesome family fun then I don't know what does. Well maybe I don't.

I know there are a couple of others that are highly anticipated, but not by me, like The Lazarus Effect, Dark Summer, and M. Night Shyamalan's The Visit.

Just for shits and giggles

These just look like they might be funny too:

1. Scouts vs. Zombies

Reminds me of a kid from my troop!
Reminds me of a kid from my troop!

2. Goosebumps

Jack Black and assorted monsters!
Jack Black and assorted monsters!

3. Blood Sucking Bastards

4. Krampus

Just in time for Xmas!
Just in time for Xmas!

So, like it or not that's how I see this coming year in horror. How about you? Feel free to voice your opinions and/or most anticipated frightening flicks I may have forgotten that are coming for us this year.


Which horror film are you most excited to see in 2015?


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