ByTommy DePaoli, writer at
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Tommy DePaoli

The Screen Junkies team is always reliable when it comes to playfully ripping apart some of our favorite movies, and this week they've turned their laser-focused attention to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Addressing all four movies in one trailer, the guys poke fun at everything from the Keith Richards inspiration for Captain Jack to the rampant alcoholism on the ships.

Dubbing it "Jack Sparrow of the Caribbean (and Some Other Pirates)," Screen Junkies gives their hilarious and often spot-on take that you can't miss.

Check it out below:

Here's a rundown of some of the harsh (but typically accurate) bits of honesty that the trailer points out:

Johnny Depp stopped picking creative roles after this movie

The guys really didn't hold back when discussing Johnny Depp's career trajectory, saying that the role of Jack Sparrow has turned him into a "boring parody of himself." Indeed, Depp has certainly been a little franchise-happy as of late, especially if Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter are there. And true, his roles do seem to overlap in characterization when you look at them side by side (I'm thinking the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland to The Wolf in [Into the Woods](movie:342930)).

BUT, even if he is "made out of dreadlocks and guyliner," I think Depp really does manage to knock this character out of the park (even if it happens again and again and again).

The cursing is PG

This point is fair if we're talking realistic pirates who I'm sure swore like sailors (get it?). But, this is a Disney movie after all. They're not going to be throwing around F-bombs because it's more historically accurate. Plus, while we're talking historical accuracy, this franchise features an anthropomorphized octopus as the main antagonist. Just saying.

Murder is physically impossible

This aspect did always make me laugh whenever I rewatched the movies. The stakes seem pretty low when everyone is undead or otherwise unable to be killed. Granted, I recognize that Disney movies should not be willy-nilly with the deaths like Game of Thrones, but when someone gets stabbed, they should be dead, dammit! That's my piece, and I'm sticking to it.

The franchise's hierarchy of success

This is perhaps the most devastating blow considering Depp and Bruckheimer's plans to make a fifth installation, [Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales](movie:586017). The Screen Junkies gentlemen trace a pattern of diminishing interest as the movies go on. As they tell it, everyone was excited about the first great movie based on a theme park ride, but by the time it got to a fourth one (without most of the main cast), audiences were left shaking their heads.

While this the trailer brings up a lot of good points and is all in good fun, I can't help but be hopeful for the next Pirates movie. Call me an optimist (I've been called worse), but how amazing would it be to see a real impressive return to form like The Black Pearl?

Did this honest movie trailer make you view the Pirates movies in a whole new way? Or, are they just summing up everything you already knew?


Will you be tuning in for a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie?


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