ByTyler Sparks, writer at
Founder of I chew glass and shit highballs. I like booze, I like horror, I write boozy reviews about horror.
Tyler Sparks

Instead, gird your loins for some grade A garbage! And believe me, I mean that in the best possible way.

Based on the premise and title alone, I had no real expectations here. I knew just what I was getting into, and lets be clear on that: its the next generations Leprechaun.


OK HOLD THE PHONE. I am ALL ABOUT the college party as the decent setup for some fun and fornication but GET THE DRINKING GAMES RIGHT. What are these dorm jockies playing, quarters with a beer pong setup…?


Anyway. Sorry. Where was I?

Gnomes. Yes. Ok.

SO – this witch betrays a Leprechaun (do you capitalize the L…? God I suck at this) who consequently curses her and anyone who bears the Mark for eternity. The witch, as a result, summons a GUARDIAN gnome (not a garden gnome, which is presumably the eventual derivation). Said Guardian Gnome protects anyone who bears ‘The Mark’, killing her enemies, and eventually anyone he deems a threat…which, oddly, becomes everyone. Okeedokey.

I'll be the bigger man and dodge the obvious Dobby joke
I'll be the bigger man and dodge the obvious Dobby joke



SHOP NO FURTHER CHITTLINS. In the first 10 minutes there’s a lesbian scene between a teacher and a student. That’s…pretty much everyones fantasy, I think, right? Even my girlfriend was geeked on it. Also, some muddy titties and some seriously kinky stuff near the end. AWESOME.


Hilarious and cheesy as all get. Thank god the brightest light source is gorram candle or we could actually SEE how terrible some of it is. Still. I suppose thats the point.


Its evident this movie doesn’t take itself remotely seriously. I mean, for petes sake, Verne freakin' Troyer is the villain – i’m more intimidated by my cat on a catnip trip. But that’s extremely beside the point, since I’d watch this mofo chase down grown ass men all day. Or hamsters. I would also watch him chase hamsters.


I feel like this movie started as the brain child of a bunch of bored drunk porn stars - DONT GET ME WRONG, thats not a bad thing.

Main gripe here – the obscenely terrible lighting. I feel like no one has any idea how to operate a simple light switch – I seriously sat through the full 90 minutes praying for the sun to rise.

So whats left to say? I mean, what really is left of the film? Its terrible. Its pants-pooing hilarious.

There’s some seriously stellar performances, especially Officer Kelly (Erik Aude). I mean I’d watch that dude riff on an audience for an hour and PAY for it NO JOKE.

But should you watch it? HAH. YEAH. I’m talkin you saddle up to a bottle – nothin fancy of course – you get reaaaallll familiar with that bottle, like see what its bottom looks like from the inside, and then you pop this flick on. You sit back, content in your cozy haze, and you experience Verne Troyer as the creepy spiritual successor to Warwick Davis, of Leprechaun fame. Will you be impressed? Probably not. Will you be amused? Likely.

TL;DR 6/10. I’m still not convinced this isn’t a soft core Skinimax porn. Still, hilariously entertaining. (long as there’s a bottle in arms reach)


Original review on my main site HERE Just be warned...its WAY more

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